Why I Left My Marriage & How I’m Rebuilding Life

Life looked “fine” on the outside—but at home, everything was unraveling. I share why I left my marriage to protect my daughter’s mental health, my own sanity, and why starting over isn’t failure.

In this episode, I walk through real, repeatable tools for rebuilding:

• Mental health habits: quiet moments, weekly truth check-ins
• Body basics: hydration, short walks, small wins
• Spiritual grounding: energy checks and centering practices

We also cover practical strategies for messy transitions—working from coffee shops, car-living, micro-tasks, and minute-by-minute decisions when resources are tight.

If you’re stuck between “picture-perfect” and peace, this episode is your reminder: choosing yourself is courageous, not selfish.

Key Takeaways:

• Protecting kids’ mental health through hard choices
• Recognizing toxic patterns and ending cycles
• Truth-telling as the first step to change
• Non-negotiables for mind, body, and spirit
• Redefining success in hard seasons

Share this episode with someone who needs courage today, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to help more women find it.

Want to help my children and I during this transition?

You can donate to our GoFundMe HERE.

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Chapters

• 1:07 Why I Chose To Leave
• 3:10 Four Tries At Family
• 5:24 When Blending Turns Toxic
• 9:27 The Weekend Rupture And Clarity
• 12:47 Survival Mode And Daily Realities
• 17:18 The Truth As Step One
• 21:29 Three Non‑Negotiables For Stability
• 29:03 Mind And Body Basics That Help
• 34:25 Spiritual Checks And Grounding

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:45

Today we're gonna be talking about why I'm starting over again and why leaving was the hardest and healthiest choice I feel like I've ever made. Hey. Welcome back to Just Women Talking Shit. Today I am sharing something deeply, deeply fucking personal. Um I don't sugarcoat my life here, and this episode is definitely going to be one of the rawest and realist ones that I have ever recorded. Um, I recently made a huge decision for my own mental health and for my daughter's mental health, especially. And I left my husband. I left my family that we have built for the past almost seven years. Not because I don't love him, not because I don't want our family to work, but because our blended family wasn't blending the way that they make it look in the movies. It really became toxic, if I'm being honest. And it never felt like a true fit. It felt like I was trying to jam puzzle pieces together just because I couldn't figure out which ones fit. And the hardest part um is now our son. We have one son together. It comes from a broken home, which I never wanted that for him, and that breaks my fucking heart. But at the same time, I feel empowered because I know I just know like I know like I know that I made the right decision, but it's really hard. I'm now choosing long-term healing over short-term comfort, and that is something a lot of people aren't willing to do. So right now I'm in this like really weird limbo stage, starting over again for the fourth fucking time. Yeah. I've I've tried four times to have a family, and I'm gonna walk you through it. For the first time, I tried to build a family. It was with my daughter's dad, and he passed away in 2020. The second time I tried again with someone who had a daughter the same age as mine, roughly. Uh, and we even got engaged, but it didn't work out. The third, I married someone who ended up being a complete narcissist, a con man, and emotionally abusive. Now, for the fourth time, my most recent time, which is my second marriage, this most recent marriage, this one on paper looked perfect. Everything looked great. And he's the one that I even had a baby with. After almost eight years of not having a baby, I finally got what I call my miracle baby. But behind the scenes, honestly, our kids, besides the two youngest, were struggling fundamentally on like a deep level. And I I felt it, I saw it. People have tried to ignore it. We put our kids on medication, all these things to try to to try to help them with their mental health, the transition, and just all of the differences. Um so what do you do when your kid is struggling? Like, do you do you stay with your partner or do you choose your kid? That's the situation I was put in. But you know, they were struggling, and I saw it. I see it every day. I'm struggling. Even my husband's struggling, but I don't think that he wants to ever admit that. But nothing, nothing about the family dynamic felt healthy, like, especially over the weekend when we had a complete rupture that it it could have been prevented, but I think it was just it really showed how fragile all of our mental health was. And then when there's alcohol involved, it it just never makes it better. So everyone, I feel like, was hurting even if they weren't talking about it. And everyone, in a sense, was being pulled away from their biological parents. Like my daughter at six years old, after sleeping with me so many years, you know, I'm a single mom. Um, and she was my only child at six years old when I got married. It just she inherited a a new father figure, um, and three other brothers, and I'm pregnant, and and then she's kicked out of my bed and just put in a room by herself. Um, and then her dad, her dad dies. And so there are like all of these dynamics, and then the boys, you know, coming from also a broken home, like so many dynamics that just didn't feel like we were making improvement. And so that's just something I saw and and and I felt in my soul, but I thought that maybe we could, you know, work through it and all finally come together and feel like a family, but it just it wasn't feeling natural. So I finally decided over this past weekend that all of our mental health is so fragile. Mine, my daughter's, some of his kids, I honestly I think his, all of us really, and staying in this situation in this small house together where so many there are so many differences and forces working against us. You know, my husband's family doesn't care for me. They've never cared for me. I had a tall order to fill, I think. Co-parenting has never been easy for us with um with you know his ex. There are just so many dynamics that I feel like on a fundamental level, my views and my beliefs and my core beliefs especially, they just don't match with the other side. And so I think that staying was actually breaking us. It wasn't bonding us, if I'm being completely honest. So I'm willing to take the blame if people want to blame me, that's fine. If if the other side, if my family wants to blame me, uh the kids want to blame me, that's fine. But I'm also willing to walk away. I'm also willing to be the person to walk away and say, you know, that if it protects my kids and it helps preserve the relationships with, you know, that all of these children deserve with their biological parents, then I I guess they'll be the person to to blow up our lives. That's kind of where I'm at with all of it. Now, my reality right now, I'm telling you, like, from a place of I do not have this all figured out. I I just don't. I'm telling you this from a place of inside the center of the storm. Like it's you are inside the chaos. But right now, this is what life looks like. I'm driving about 30 miles each way to get my kids back to their school because we live about 30. My my mother lives 30, 40 minutes away from our old house. Um, life looks like being in the car a lot. So, like I've got, you know, my clothes in the car, I've got kids' clothes in the car, we've got pillows, we've got like toiletries, we've got snacks, we've got everything in the car because we are in the car so much here lately. It looks like me uh living at my mom's house at 36 years old, which uh I'm not proud to say that, but it's really amazing that I have her and that I have someone who and her husband who are there to take us in because otherwise I don't know where we would go. My life has been so chaotic. Like I've been working in coffee shops, trying to, you know, make a few dollars last all day long so I don't have to make the drive all the way back to to my mom's and spend so much money in gas. I've been doing that a lot. I've been rubbing panties together. I've like been trying to do cash back, I've been trying to find new clients, a new place to live, like some some kind of stability for my kids. I've been stressing about Christmas presents, trying to maintain their mental health, my mental health, any sense of normalcy, um, my physical health. Like I just left the gym, um, trying to make time for that because if I slip off of that, then my mental health slips. And then if my mental health slip slips, I'm I'm short with my kids. I don't make the best decisions. I'm cloudy, uh, my judgment is off, my confidence is off because I'm tired or achy or whatever that might be. Just really trying to maintain like my spiritual connection to myself and and to the highest power, you know, like and I'm also trying to be fully present with my kids. I I realize like this isn't glamorous, but this is real fucking life. This isn't like the boss babe rise from the ashes montage. I feel like this is survival and I feel like I'm built for this. And I am recording this episode and I'm putting my story out there in real time because I I don't believe in holding on to your stories for someday. If you need help now and you need support now, like I want all of the love and light that everybody can provide and send my way. I want that. I know that there's gonna be a lot of disagreement and there's gonna be a lot of um hearsay, but I'm willing to heal and show what I'm going through in real time so that others don't feel alone. I'm not sharing this for pity. I'm not sharing this because like I know someone uh listening is, you know, gonna hear this and I and I want to to brag or boast or or make them feel bad or like none of that. I'm sharing because I know someone is listening that is in this exact same place as I am, torn between staying to keep the picture perfect or leaving to protect their peace. And that that is why I'm so fucking honest because I can't stand fake. I can't stand this whole pretending you have your life together and you have it all figured out when you don't. If anything, I'm maybe a few steps ahead of somebody else. And I want to keep it that real for as long as I have this podcast. The true message of this episode is that you don't have to settle, you don't have to stay in something that is slowly breaking you down when you know, you know in your heart that this probably isn't it for you, right? You don't have to sacrifice your sanity so that other people can avoid some dis discomfort. And you don't have to pretend that your family is functioning when it fucking isn't. You don't have to wait to start over. Okay. I know it's really scary, but sometimes the strongest thing that you'll ever do, and the healthiest thing that you can ever do for yourself and your kids is to just walk away. So today I'm I'm going to be sharing the steps that I'm taking right now to rebuild myself, to rebuild my little family, and to stay grounded so that I can build it back from the ground up. These are the steps that are keeping me moving, even while everything else is fucking falling apart. I mean, it is all falling apart around me. That's what I feel like is like I'm just like everything is like slow motion or I'm slow motion and everything around me is fast and just buildings are crumbling. So step one is uh telling yourself the truth first. Okay. And this is the hardest part. Okay. The hardest part of leaving is admitting the truth. This family wasn't working, it wasn't healthy and it was not sustainable. Every six months, my husband and I have some sort of blowout, or we have the kids have a blowout, right? And that's not, I don't think that's healthy. And we're talking about like toxic shit, like getting into the psyche emotionally abusive remarks, both my husband, me, and the kids to each other. Mm-mm. It's it doesn't when when your daughter starts having complete insecurities about her body and and she because boys don't know how to speak to girls, and then she's mean to them and gets inside their ego. Like, no, that that's not healthy. It's not like just oh, siblings being siblings. Like, when I say we got toxic, we got toxic. But we still smiled for the pictures, right? Here's an example. And I'm I'm you know, I do it right now too. But I sat in the car one day and I asked myself, and and it became very evident over this past weekend, would I want my daughter to stay in the same situation if she were me? And the answer was no. Like that clarity that I got over the weekend seriously was the beginning of a new life for me and for my kids. So I want you to ask yourself, if my best friend told me that this was her life, what advice would I give her? Even if everything looks pretty and painted and you know, beautiful on the outside, but she's struggling with her sanity, with her mental health, with her self-esteem, with her connection to her own child, what advice would I give her? If someone I love, this is another question you can ask, if someone I love lived like this, would I be proud? Or is staying helping anyone or is it hurting anyone? Honesty is the fucking doorway to healing. It doesn't matter how much I love my husband if our kids cannot coexist, if we can't not every six months, you know, drink and argue and and go through this, you know, this cycle just to keep repeating it. Step two would be to create three non-negotiables. These are things that you honor daily, okay, no matter what season you're in. When everything starts to feel like out of control, these three things need to be your anchor. For me, and I suggest these be your anchors too, but for me, number one is my mental health. That was what I told myself at the beginning of this year. My mental health is everything, and if I can get better up here, I can see clearer out here, and it allowed me to confidently make a choice because my mental health is something that I've been working on. I've been working on my intuition, I've been working on listening to myself. So for me, my mind comes first. If my mind goes, everything else follows. And that means that if my mind is good, life is gonna flow better. If my mind is shit, it seems like everything's crumbling around me. So, some examples would be like, you know, I take 10 silent minutes in the car before I walk inside anywhere. And that's something you can do. You could do a quick thought check. Like, what am I saying to myself right now? Is that what I'm saying being helpful or is it being harmful? Um you can ask someone for help once a week, even when that feels vulnerable. Um, another thing that you can do is like a daily reset. Right? Daily reset moment in your car, in your bathroom, or like even before bed. Just sit there with yourself for a few minutes. Check in with yourself. Uh, choose one friend to be honest with weekly, like check in with them. How are they doing? How are you doing? Someone that you can like just put it all out there and say, you know what, this has been a shit week. And and then maybe she's like, Oh God, you too. Like, it's been a shit week for me too. So you don't feel alone and being consistent with that so that you have someone in your corner at all times. You can also replace one self-destructive thought with something neutral. Number two would be like, I'm not aiming for perfection here. I just want to say that. Um, but number two is that I focus on is my mental, I mean, my my physical health. Okay. I'm not looking to have a six-pack of abs. I'm looking to keep my body functioning while I have to sit in the car for long amounts of time to prevent blood clots in my legs, to again help my my mental health, to make sure that I can chase my four-year-old, to make sure that I can, you know, um hug my my daughter who is now bigger than me, or stand long amounts of time to straighten her hair. Like all of these things add up. Um, so some of the things that I'm doing is like I drink a like I drink water before coffee. Okay. I'm not gonna let myself have the coffee until I have a glass of water. I walk a lot. I get up and I move around a lot. Walking 10 or 15 minutes a day really helps, even if it's just you like pacing back and forth in the living room or in a parking lot or walking around the house or up and down the driveway. Okay. And I eat, and this one's hard. I say one real meal, but really it's been this for me. Making sure that I get a protein shake in. Okay. Last night I ate some peas out of a can, but knowing that I have to keep up with calories, even if I don't feel like it. Okay. So when I say one real meal, yeah, try to get you like a little, I love getting a rotisserie chicken. I'm on a huge, like, I have no hardly any, I have like a hundred dollars to my name right now. And I'm going back and forth, back and forth. So like I'm saving that for gas, right? But making sure that you are still getting good nutrition. So, like, something that I really enjoy is going to Sam's club, and I'll get one of their rotisserie chickens, and I will eat that. Eat on that for like three or four days. So that with like some vegetables, that's a real meal. And if you can't swing that and your stomach's hurting because breaking up is so fucking sad, and it makes you so sad, your body hates you, stress won't let you eat all the things, then at least keep protein shakes around, okay? So pick, pick like a bare minimum habit. The drinking water, the stretching, taking a walk, whatever, and commit to that every day. Pair it with something that you already do. Like if you um if you're stretching, you could also be listening to music. Like, and that could give you good energy and make you feel better and prepare you for your chaotic day. You could personally I love stacking habits. So if you don't stack habits yet, look into that because it's a super fun thing to do, and it's a really good way to rewire your brain so that you are having consistent um habits that are improving you and helping you step into that next role or that next identity. Because becoming a single mom overnight, I don't recommend it, but it happens and it's hard. So I really just want to give you these tips so that you can start taking care of yourself and making sure that you're showing up to the best of your ability. I know it's hard, but to the best of your ability for your kids. My third non-negotiable is having a spiritual connection to myself and to God, the universe, my angels, um everything, right? Having making sure that I'm connected to source. And I do that in so many different ways. I do it through energy checks, I do it through um just sitting and thinking, you know, in silence. Um, sometimes before bed, I'll I'll because I've I listen to frequencies to help myself and my kids have a really deep sleep and go into the deep sleep sleep quickly. Um, but I'll sit there for the first few minutes and I'll just like do a check in with myself, like about My day. And that sometimes helps me, you know, prepare for the next day, like thinking about all the things I accomplished. The energy checks are really important whenever it comes to spirituality. Like, how is my body? How is my mood? What drained me today? What do I need? Maybe I need to take a bubble bath. Maybe I need to, you know, treat myself to a cheap coffee. Maybe I just need to paint my toes, right? Something like that. I ask myself every morning, like, what do I need today? That's really important. How, how can I show up and feel good in my body today? How can I show up and feel good in my mind? So that really helps. I carry something grounding for me. It's a rock. I don't have it nearby, but like I have a rock that I retrieved on one of my retreats and I brought it home for my son. And so now it just sits, I think it's in my purse actually. And having that really makes me feel grounded because I have like such a great memory of when I found it. I have a great memory of when my son found it and my stuff and said, look at this big rock. Is this for me? And I told him yes. Like there's this whole, it just makes me feel good. So for you, it could be some kind of little stone, it could be some kind of trinket, a necklace, maybe, but something to keep near you so that you can touch it when you're, you know, feeling overwhelmed and you can tap into your senses. That really helps me a lot. And I let myself cry or step away without apologizing. Like there have been moments where I have just sat and cried. And some people would say, Don't cry in front of your kids. Don't let them see all the pain you're going through. My children have seen how much this has hurt me. They have seen that I love him. They have seen that I don't want to let go, but that this is necessary. And instead of worrying them and making them worry about me, I think that it has really shown them how human I am and that mom is struggling and that moms need love too. And they have both when they see me crying, because sometimes it just comes left-filled, right? Like I can't fucking help it. And it just all of a sudden, and they they hold me and they tell me they love me and that it's gonna be okay. And we heal together. Um, but these are just some of the things that I've been really allowing myself to do. So I think it's really important that when you're going through this, not to get so in this mode of survivor, like, you know, uh call on divorce attorneys and like and just getting so in the single mom mode, survivor mode. I think it's really important that you take breaks and that with if you feel like you gotta cry, cry right then. If you feel like you've got to beat the shit out of a pillow, do that. Scream into a pillow, take the pillow and beat the shit out of your couch. I think it's really important to, if it's not going to like, I don't know, freak your kids out, if it's not gonna put you in harm's way, don't do anything crazy in the car, right? But if it's not gonna put anybody in harm's way, and it's a healthy way to get your your frustration, your sadness, all the emotions out, move that energy. I think it's really important to be able to do that in as real time as possible and not schedule it for later. Sometimes we have to, but like for instance, if you are crying, you need to cry, um, you know, go, go cry. Go cry in the shower, go cry in the bathroom, go cry outside. Don't try to hold it all in uh for the sake of just, you know, appearing to be strong. So I do that and I don't apologize for it. Um, and I think that's important. I think it's really important to stay honest with yourself because you need to feel all the emotions, right? You need to feel every single one of them so that you don't stuff them down and they don't come out at the wrong time. So do a 30-second energy check every morning. Try in the middle of the day, and then do it again at nighttime. Create, you know, a grounding ritual, whatever that looks like for you. Maybe it's journaling, maybe it's breath work, maybe it's stepping outside into nature, going for a walk, looking for cool rocks, going near water, I don't know. And carry something. Carry something that regulates your energy. Could be gum, chewing on gum, could be something that smells good, it could be a pen that you click, it could be some kind of fidget toy, could be something squishy, like could be a stone, like I mentioned, right? A little rock, could be a necklace, but try to keep something near you that keeps you present in the moment. Tap it into some kind of senses and then respond to your energy instead of trying to power through it. I know that we've got a very hustle culture, but I think it's really important that you respond to your energy instead of just trying to push through. Your third step is going to be to remove the pressure to have everything figured out. Okay. Some people are telling me, take it day by day. I'm gonna go a step further and say, take it minute by minute, okay? I tell myself every day, as of lately, that I don't need to have like this five-year plan because we tend to do that. We think so far into the future. I literally just need to stay present enough so that I can be well informed and in tune so I can take the next right step. Okay. So right now, my steps look like finding a new home, finding new clients so that I can take care of my kids. He was the breadwinner. He paid for almost everything. I kept up with my car payment and with, you know, some other bills. But when it came to a house, when it came came to insurance, when it came to some of the food, right? Like I depended on him. My daughter depended on him. My son depends on him. So all of these things are really shaking up my life right now. But I know that it's just part of, it's part of the process. So finding new clients, I've been rebuilding my routines because it's, you know, the all the driving and stuff is kind of I'm not used to that yet. So I'm having to like find, find spaces, find new like spaces in time to build these new routines based on what we are going through and how we're having to live right now. I've really focused on creating space for my kids. It was really nice, you know. I I don't want to necessarily share my my son, but that's how it goes, right? And he's got a good dad that I trust fully and that he can spend, you know, plenty of time with. So we'll split that time as evenly as possible. But it was really it, I like I don't want to share him and I miss him. But it was really nice to last night, my daughter laid on my lap and I and it felt like there was no pressure. I didn't have to go cuddle with my husband. I didn't have to feel like, you know, she was taking up too much of the couch. Like there are all these little nuances and all these things that aggravated him, aggravated the boys that I don't have to really worry about anymore. So she was just her and her, I say big self because she is a tall girl or soon to be woman. She's becoming a woman, but she takes up a lot of space and she like spreads her legs out and she's just she's so funny. But she laid in my lap last night for one of the first times in a long time, and it felt like we were at peace again. So that's been really important is creating space for my kids and making sure that like mom is the main thing I'm worried about. Like, I guess the main my main job, not the main thing, because I'm more than a mom, right? But like that's my main focus as far as job. My job right now is just making sure that I'm a mom. I I don't have to be a wife anymore. And I can just focus on being the best mom possible for them. I've, you know, been trying to heal the parts of me that I really feel like I abandoned in past relationships. And I abandoned myself in this relationship, and I think he abandoned himself in this relationship too. Not sure if he would agree with that, but my perspective is that he did a little bit. We both compromise and and tried to change ourselves in ways to make the other one happy or appease the kids in this whole dynamic. So start here. Just choose one goal this week and then choose a different goal the next week. Set one micro task a day, like just one could be to fucking brush your teeth or take a shower. Because when you're depressed, some people don't take showers every day. I do. I'm like a clean freak when it comes to my body, okay? But some people don't. And so it and there's no shame in that. If you need to make your micro task something that simple, like opening the blinds and getting some sun, okay, check it off your list. You also need to focus on progress, not perfection. So really focus on things that are moving the needle forward. Step four is to build a support system. And if you don't have one and you resonate with me or you trust me and feel close enough to me, send me a DM. My DMs are always open. Okay. Even if your support system is small, just one person, that is all that matters. It makes all the difference to have somebody in your corner. I used to think that, you know, having support meant an entire village, but right now, my support system is my mom, a few friends, and a fucking coffee shop table. And to be honest, that's enough. That's enough for me. So maybe pick one or two people that you can be brutally honest with, okay? No sugar coating, and keep them in your corner. Have them check in with you. You check in with them and just keep yourself in this in in the energy of somebody who cares about you that can support you, but also hold you accountable, right? Accountable with yourself, accountable with your truths, and accountable with sticking this out instead of going back. Also, you need to ask for specific help. Okay, not vague help, not hinting around to things. Be direct when you need something, if you need help with the kids, if you need your s your spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse to help with expenses, you have to speak up. You have to be direct. Don't hint around. Ask specifically, okay? Not vaguely. Let people show up for you imperfectly. They may not know what to say, they may not know what to do, but just the fact that they care enough to check on you. Maybe you just sit together in each other's company. Let them show up imperfectly. Allow yourself to show up imperfectly, and just do the best you can for today. Get through that next minute. Step five would be to redefine success during a hard season. Right now, for me, success looks like my kids feeling safe. My mind and body feeling calm or my body functioning at all. Okay. That's success for me. My energy and time being respected. Like I'm really step stepping into that and standing up for my time and my energy because I don't want to waste it anymore. Um, success for me right now looks like a roof over our heads. It looks like just really small wins that I know are gonna add up. Like a client here for$500. That's not a whole lot of money, but if I could get a few more of those, we would be okay. So not missing out on the small jobs, not missing out on the small wins, moving the needle forward and letting these things compact as you go. Your success doesn't have to look like hustle culture. Your success is whatever keeps you going without breaking you down, okay? Without breaking you or pushing your to your limit so that you have one of those me, myself, and Irene moments. Jim Carrey. Oh my god. Jim Carrey, I love you so much. Uh-huh. I want to meet you so bad, by the way. But I one of my favorite scenes in that movie is when he when Hank comes out and he starts twitching and he's in the middle of the grocery line and he just snaps. So I don't want that for you. Okay. So your success really is. It's whatever keeps you going without breaking you. So let those little things add up because they for sure count. Step six is to believe that you are worthy of a healthy life. Now, this one is huge. Every time I start over, I could choose bitterness, right? I could choose shame. I could choose fear, but instead I choose healing, honesty, boundaries, alignment, self-respect, and not settling. And you deserve that too. My husband deserves that too. We all deserve it. His kids, my kids, his family, my family. I truly believe that everybody deserves to be at peace with themselves and their lives and not have to settle or wonder what if, what if, what if. So if this episode resonates with you, please take a moment to share it. Send it to your friend, send it to whoever you know is going through this season of life because there are so many women out there. There are so many fucking women out there, men too, I'm sure, forcing themselves to stay in families, relationships, marriages, or situations that are slowly destroying their peace, removing their identity. Like we don't even know who we are anymore besides wife and mom. And you were somebody before that. I really hope that this episode empowers you to make the decision that you've been scared to make. If this is something that you just know is meant for you, you have been pushing it off because you're scared, because he's the breadwinner, because you don't know how you're gonna make it work, because the kids are gonna have questions. I hope this episode finds you because I know it's a really hard decision to make. And this one happened so quickly. But again, things get compacted, which made the decision a little bit easier to make when we had the rupture. I hope it reminds you that you know, starting over isn't failure either. It's bravery, it's healing, it's choosing you, you choosing yourself and your kids because they're watching. And whatever kind of relationship you have, whatever behaviors or energies or you know, habits you allow them to see between you and your partner, they are gonna chase that same relationship. They are gonna chase that same type of person. And so if you're not at peace, if you're not happy, if you are sticking it out for the kids, odds are they're gonna repeat that same cycle. And we're never going to break the generational curses and trauma that have been passed on to us. Like it's up to us to break the cycle. So if you're in that, that messy middle, like I am, living out of bags, doing school drop-offs from the car, like I'm just everything is in the car right now, hustling for clients or looking for a job, trying your best to make Christmas work and not fall apart in the midst of all this. Just know this. You're not alone. You are not failing, you are rebuilding, mama, and your future is going to thank you so fucking much for having the strength to make this decision in one of the hardest seasons of your life. I love you so much. I believe in you so much. I thank you so much for listening. I hope this episode reaches you and that it helps you in some way, or whoever you pass it along to, it helps them. And know that if you're in a situation where there is any kind of abuse, that there are resources for you, okay? You can call domestic violence hotline. You can find a shelter, you can reach out to me, okay, and I will help you. I am not in that type of situation, but I've been there. And so if you need someone safe to talk to, I'm here for you. And there are so many people out there, professionals, that can help you as well. So don't forget to rate the podcast on Spotify. Give it all the stars, leave me a good review, please, on Apple Podcasts. If you want to, for anybody listening who isn't in a bad situation and wants to monetarily give to the show, you can now do that. You can become um a subscriber and you can get behind the scenes and special episodes from from yours truly. Um you can write me uh at jwtspodcastgmail.com if you have any questions, if you need advice, anything like that, or you just want to chat, you can also find me and follow me on Instagram at Jacqueline Cotton. That will be changing in the near future, or at just women talking shit on Instagram or on TikTok. Okay. And again, if you need to reach out to me, my inbox is always open. Okay. I think you're amazing. I think you're strong. I think you're brave, and I think you're gonna figure it out because you always, always do.