Why Is It So Damn Hard to Talk About Mental Health? (Backed by Science)

We've made progress talking about mental health, but why does your voice still shake when you admit "I'm not okay"? Why do we hesitate to reach out for help? Today, we're getting loud about what keeps us silent.

Half of us will face mental health challenges, yet a third suffer alone because of shame. This episode unpacks how our upbringing literally rewired our brains to suppress emotions. Remember hearing "stop crying before I give you something to cry about"? That childhood conditioning creates adult anxiety around vulnerability. A 2015 study shows this isn't just emotional—it's neurological.

I share my own childhood panic attacks that were dismissed as "being dramatic," revealing how toxic positivity and the false association between mental health struggles and weakness keep us isolated. The research is clear: avoiding uncomfortable emotions directly contributes to psychological distress.

But this isn't just venting—it's about reclaiming your power through actionable, science-backed strategies. Learn how naming your emotions aloud calms your brain's fear center (UCLA research confirms this works). Discover why finding just one safe person for honest conversations matters more than money for long-term happiness (Harvard's longest study proves it). I'll guide you through building a daily emotional check-in habit that research shows reduces depression symptoms over time.

Your healing journey doesn't have to be solo. Tag me @JustWomenTalkingShit with one thing you're giving yourself permission to feel today. Send questions to jwtspodcast@gmail.com for personalized advice on future episodes. 

Your emotions are valid, your healing is allowed, and your voice deserves to be heard.

Disclaimer: The purpose of Just Women Talking Shit is to entertain, encourage, and inspire. This advice in this episode is not meant to replaced by help of a licensed professional. 

Mota Magick
MOTA Magick is soulful, high-vibe CBD skincare made by women, for women. Use code JWTS to save 10%!

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Mental Health Rawness
• 2:03 Why It's Hard to Talk
• 5:20 Breaking the Silence Cycle
• 6:38 Actionable Mental Health Steps
• 9:57 Your Permission Slip
• 11:05 Episode Closing & Retreat Invitation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to Just Women Talking Shit with your host, jacqueline Cotton. Hey y'all, welcome back to Just Women Talking Shit, the show where we get real, we get raw and we unpack the shit people are too scared to say out loud. I'm your host, jacqueline Cotton, and today we're going there. We are talking about mental health. Why is it so damn hard to talk about it? Why does your voice shake when you say I'm not okay? Why do you second guess reaching out for help? And why, after all the progress we say we've made, does it still feel taboo to talk about it? Spoiler alert it's not just in your head, it's generational, it's neurological and, babe, it's systemic. But we're not just keeping it quiet. Today. We're getting loud. I'm dropping some truth, some stories and, yeah, a few science-backed bombs to help back it all up. Let's go. Why is it so hard to talk about mental health? One we were literally raised to shut the hell up. Think about that for a second. Look. I love our families, but a lot of us grew up in homes where crying out loud got you punished, not comforted. You heard. Stop crying before I give you something to cry about, more than it's okay to feel what you feel and that shit right there sticks. It's not just emotional, it's neurological. Okay, a 2015 study showed that when you're constantly told to suppress emotions as a kid, your nervous system literally rewires. Your brain learns emotion equals danger. So now, as an adult, your chest gets tight just thinking about opening up. That's not weakness, that's conditioning.

Speaker 1: 2:01

Story time I remember whenever I was younger I would have panic attacks. Here's the thing I didn't know they were panic attacks, I was told. Whenever I went and, you know, asked for help, freaking out, hyperventilating, I was told I was being dramatic, that I needed to get it together, that I was in my head needed to calm down, stuff like that. And I know now I was having active panic attacks as a kid, but nobody was on board with mental health at that time. You know, I remember it was so taboo to have a therapist or go to a shrink, and I just think it's wild now because I'm like everybody should go to therapy. I think that it should be like a universal health plan that we all are required to go to therapy, like I think the world would be a better place if we could all get in touch with the thoughts in our heads instead of, you know, pushing them down because we feel like we're too much or we're being dramatic or just want attention, like that's. The last fucking thing I want is attention when I am wigging the fuck out. Am I right?

Speaker 1: 3:11

Number two we're taught to prioritize other people's comfort over our own truth. Let that one sink in. Ever try to tell someone, hey, I'm struggling and they hit you with, but you have so much to be grateful for. Well, thanks, that fucking helps, girl. That's not support, that's toxic positivity. It's not just annoying, it's actually harmful.

Speaker 1: 3:35

2020 study found that avoiding uncomfortable emotions is directly linked to psychological distress. We are literally making ourselves sick trying to be palatable for others. And then, number three, we associate mental health with weakness. Let me be blunt. There's still this quiet, shameful belief that if you go to therapy, you must be broken, that if you need medication, then you've failed. But here's what the data says Over 50% of us will deal with a mental health condition at some point, and one-third of people won't talk about it because they're afraid of being judged. Are you kidding me? Half of us are struggling and a third are suffering in silence. No, no, no, no. We're done with that. We got to be done with that.

Speaker 1: 4:23

Let me tell you something, babe you asking for help doesn't mean you're weak. Seeing a therapist doesn't mean you're crazy, you needing a moment to just fall apart. It doesn't mean you're a mess. It means you are a fucking human being. Because here's the thing Humans are messy. We have heartbreak, trauma, hormones loss. You're not a damn robot and you're not supposed to function like a perfectly optimized machine. Okay, you're not broken. You're becoming, you're learning, you're healing. You're doing a very brave thing by even listening to this episode, and let's take a second just to share this with somebody that you care about, who you want to know their mental health matters, and maybe this is your way of telling them that they can be someone that you can lean on when they are having a rough day. Just by sharing, just by being open-minded, deserves a hell of a lot of respect, and I want you to know that pretending everything is fine is not fine. So let's dive into some actionable steps so that you can walk away with change headed your way. Now you know, I don't just vent. I'm here to help you take your power back. So here's some real doable, backed by science, ways to start owning your own mental health.

Speaker 1: 5:46

Number one name it out loud. Your brain literally needs language to process emotions. Ever feel like a mess until you finally say it out loud to someone and suddenly it's like okay, I can breathe again. That's not an accident. A UCLA study found that when you name your emotions, your fear center in your brain calms down and your logic center lights up. So say it, I feel sad, I feel burnt out, I feel numb. That's not weakness, that's actually power. Number two find one safe person. Remember how I said maybe this is your way of letting somebody know you're my safe person or I can be your safe person. Not your whole Facebook feed, just one human that you trust. Even one good conversation can lower your stress and reduce isolation. The longest study on happiness out of Harvard, by the way, found that stronger relationships are the number one predictor of emotional and physical health. Not money, not success, but connection. Find that one person and be that one person.

Speaker 1: 7:05

Story time I literally just experienced this the other day last week, whenever I was having some health scares and I was having one of those days where I was in my emotions and I was ready to just burn it all down, I took my feelings to instagram and one of my friends, who told me she was going to be that person for me, called me and we talked about it and, holy crap, did I feel better after the fact? And she told me up front. We said we were going to be this person for each other. What are you doing? Putting it all over Instagram, and I was like shit. I kind of forgot. It's hard adjusting to somebody being that person. So, sarah, thank you for being that person. I appreciate you. I may not like when you call me out, I don't like it, but I appreciate you and I love you very much and I just wanted to thank you publicly for that, because you are that person for me.

Speaker 1: 7:59

Number three build a daily check-in habit. If you can scroll Instagram 47 times a day, you can take 60 seconds to ask how am I really doing? That's emotional hygiene. Babe, you brush your teeth daily. Why wouldn't you want to check your mental health daily too? A 2014 study showed that regular self-reflection actually lowers depression symptoms over time. This isn't just woo, this is wiring. Self-awareness makes you more resilient. Think of a rubber band.

Speaker 1: 8:35

Number four unlearn silence. Practice brave conversations. Say it awkward, say it messy, say it scared, but just say it. That's the important part. Just say it. Your brain is plastic. It changes with repetition. So the more you speak, the safer your brain starts to feel about expression. Even if your voice shakes, speak anyway. That's where the shift happens. So here's the real deal. If it's been hard for you to talk about your mental health, know this you are not broken, you're not behind. You are human. You're aware You've got the tools and you've got permission to feel what you feel. You don't have to carry it alone. You don't have to be silent to be strong, and you sure as hell don't have to perform your way through the pain. Your story matters. Your struggle is real and it's safe to talk about it right now because you've got me and a whole army of women doing the work alongside you.

Speaker 1: 9:37

I want to take this moment to invite you to my beautiful retreat in Arizona happening this September. If you'd like a spot, I do have some available spots left. You can choose your own room or a shared space where you will get to know your roommates who also chose a shared space. Just DM me. Arizona Super excited about that retreat, by the way. So here's your permission slip.

Speaker 1: 10:03

Tag me at Just Women Talking Shit on Instagram and tell me one thing you're giving yourself permission to feel today. Just one, pick one and send it my way. Or if you're ready to take a deeper dive and you want some questions answered on one of our next episodes, I would love to hear from you. Email us at jwts at gmailcom with your questions. If you need advice, I will match it with the appropriate guest, an expert, or if it's a question for me, I would love that too. All right, babe, I'll see you next time and remember your emotions are valid, your healing is allowed and your voice deserves to be heard. It's been real. It's been fun. It's been real fun. Until next time, jacqueline Cotton out. Thank you for listening to Just Women Talking Shit.