Just Women Talking Shit
Just Women Talking Shit is your go-to self-help podcast for real talk on personal & spiritual growth. Hosted by Jacquelynn Cotten, personal evolution mentor & founder of Spiritual Support System, this podcast features juicy interviews with badass, one-of-a-kind women. We dive deep into the good 💩, bad 💩, weird 💩, & life 💩, offering insights & inspiration to help you live a more authentic, fulfilled life. Join us for relatable stories, expert advice, & practical tips on overcoming challenges, building resilience, & embracing your true self. Tune in & start your journey towards personal evolution today!
Just Women Talking Shit
Ep 99: The Journey to Overcoming Childhood Abuse, Challenges, Neglect, & Trauma with Tammy Vincent
Experiencing the effects of a challenging childhood can often feel like an insurmountable obstacle. Join us as I recount my journey from navigating the complexities of growing up with an alcoholic parent to becoming an Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) coach, dedicated to helping others uncover their paths to healing and self-discovery. Together, we'll explore the powerful role of lived experiences in overcoming trauma, and how techniques like NLP and energy work can offer breakthroughs for those feeling trapped in their past.
Ever wondered how dissociation and inner child work can impact your life? Listen as we unravel these complex coping mechanisms, drawing from my personal stories and the trials faced during my own journey of healing. From managing anxiety to discovering unconditional love through unexpected moments, we delve into the transformative process of acknowledging and reframing our childhood experiences. Through candid conversations with guest Tammy Vincent, we highlight the importance of authenticity and vulnerability in fostering genuine connections that support personal growth.
Let's talk about the empowering act of storytelling and how sharing your personal narrative can be both liberating and healing. Discover the courage it takes to step outside your comfort zone, challenge societal judgments, and find purpose in your struggles. Tammy and I emphasize the significance of affordable personal development and the immense strength required to face life's challenges. Whether you're on a quest for hope, understanding, or simply seeking inspiration, this episode offers a heartfelt narrative on overcoming adversity and embracing transformation through the power of authentic connection.
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Well, hey, Tammy.
Speaker 2:Hello, how are you?
Speaker 1:I'm doing well. I'm doing well. It's really nice here today. As you can see, I'm sitting outside. It feels really good when are you? I'm in Mississippi. Where are you at? I'm in Florida. What is with? I love Florida. It seems like everybody I'm talking to lately lives in Florida, so Florida must be pretty great.
Speaker 2:You know it's funny, it's. Yeah, it's a great place to settle.
Speaker 1:And so I decided, hey, I'm going to settle here when I'm 65. I might as well make the jump and do it when I'm 50. Okay, oh, you know what you want. That's good. Well, tell me about yourself, tell me about what it is you're doing.
Speaker 2:So right now I'm an ACOA coach, so adult children of alcoholic coach. I'm an ACOA coach, so adult children of alcoholic coach. So I just coach people that have had a lifetime of crap and are just kind of not navigating it. Well, you know, not knowing what, I just help people that are kind of stuck because of what happened in their childhood, that don't feel like there's a better way, and it's it's become my mission to kind of scream at the rooftop like literally, like your past doesn't define you, you define you Like stop.
Speaker 1:I love that and I resonate with that so much because I come from a childhood of, I mean, there was neglect, lots of domestic violence, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, mental abuse, verbal, emotional, all of it. And so I really, I really did think and I'm just going to share my heart with you right quick, because I know that you hear this a lot and I just don't think it's a coincidence that we're chatting today and I just don't think it's a coincidence that we're chatting today. But I resonate with it so deeply because I remember feeling like I was stuck and it's like when, especially when you're an adolescent, like you have so many questions and you're figuring out who you are and then not being able to understand, like for me it was like why am I the way I am? And I had to go back to, oh well, who?
Speaker 1:Who raised me, who gave me these beliefs, who gave me, who kind of built the foundation for these insecurities, and I just I remember not wanting to be a statistic that's the best way I can explain it is I didn't want to be a statistic, I didn't want to follow in their footsteps, and so I resonate so deeply with that and it, it I never really thought about there being a person that is out there making shifts for these humans, because the you know human's hard to begin with, right, yeah, amen to that, you know, and and it's funny because I got started, because I literally well, I got started because I spent 30 years throwing everything at the wall to see what would stick for myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so finally I'm like, ok, I've done Reiki, I'm an NLP practitioner, I can tap out anybody in the world for any problem, like I can do all this stuff. And I'm like, but people don't even know that they have these problems. They don't even they don't know why they are the way they are. And so many people's mentality is just, well, that's how I grew up, so that's just the way it is. And I was like, no, it's not.
Speaker 2:So I was actually tapping out a total stranger at the airport that was afraid to fly one day and my friend looked at me after I was done and the lady like skipped onto the plane. Like I can do this. The lady and my friend looked at me and said why don't you use some of these talents? And my very first patient or not patient client, she said to me Tammy. She said I've been going to therapy for 11 years every week, never missed a week $110 I've given this woman, she said, and in 18 minutes you told me more about why I am the way I am and gave me one simple shift that literally will change my life. And I said because I was you. And that's when it really was like, okay, there's a need for this, there's a need for people that get it.
Speaker 2:Because all the therapy my mother was a child psychiatrist. I had read every book of hers. No books in the world, no literature books prepare you to be in that body of somebody that grows up with abusive, alcoholic, neglectful parents. They just don't. You have to be it. You have to live it to understand it.
Speaker 1:I could not agree more with that, and that's probably why a lot of people like I went to therapy for a little bit and one. That's probably why a lot of people like I went to therapy for a little bit and one. It's really hard to find a therapist that you feel safe with is what I'm finding, and I'm also finding that I don't feel like I can share a whole lot with a female therapist. I don't. I kind of know what that's about. That's my relationship with my mom, who caused a lot of trauma, right, but I am seeing and this is why I love being a coach too. But I am seeing, and this is why I love being a coach too.
Speaker 1:So I have this podcast, but I have a coaching company and a content create like a creative services agency too. But coaching is my all time favorite thing in the whole world, and I do attract people that are like you get it and they're so confused as to why it took this long for it to all click. But it just takes that person that can deliver the message in a way that's like oh, I feel seen, I feel heard, I feel understood and you're right, you know you can be professionally trained and in the industry of licensed therapy. But like it doesn't, it doesn't make up for the life experience, you know it doesn't. It doesn't make up for the life experience, you know.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and I have. I mean, I've been to therapy and to me it was a great start, but then it was like, ok, I got to go deeper and I got to go deeper. That someone that knows the right questions to ask and knows where to bring me and has done, you know, six years of inner child work on their self. So that's really and it is funny. But I've had therapists come on my podcast and say therapy is great but it's not always enough. It's definitely not enough. And so licensed therapists are also coaches, doing other stuff on the side to integrate it all together.
Speaker 1:It's super cool to see the impact. Now, I'm not saying that all coaches are great. We both know that. There's like the dark side and the lights and the light side. But the only thing that concerns me is it's not a super regulated industry, like therapy and, like you know, having to have all these certificates so anybody can pop up, and that's that was my big fear getting started. It's like, well, who's going to believe in me? Like who's going to? You know, I don't have the credentials, but so that's my only. I guess that's the only caveat.
Speaker 1:But it is so cool to see the impact that soul-led, heart-centered people like you, the impact that you're having out there. And me, of course, don't forget to. I'm out here. I'm out here doing my own thing, and it took me a while to figure out what that thing was, but it is. It's so interesting how the universe, source, god, whatever word works for you, lines all this up. Because what is so beautiful is like this interview. I don't know when you booked it, it was a minute ago.
Speaker 1:I only interview people on Wednesdays, so I planned well in advance for these interviews and I just went through like this weird little phase of discovery. I had to go back to where I grew up and where a lot of the abuse took place. And I had to go back to where I grew up and where a lot of the abuse took place and I had to go back to the church and I had to be in that environment and around all the people who caused a lot of trauma. And it was a funeral for my uncle, who, too, caused a lot of trauma, like just stuff that I've, that I'm just now remembering type stuff, and it's just so beautiful how it's so it's like orchestrated behind the scenes, because I just don't believe there's any coincidences. So it's so cool that you're here. First off, I want to thank you, thank you, and then, second, the timing of this is so perfect because I think it's something I need to hear, but also that my listeners are going to benefit from so greatly. So thank you, thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 2:Well, you're welcome and you're right, there is no, it's always divine intervention, because the weirdest things happen at the weird time.
Speaker 2:I've been on my way to speak for 200 women and I practice my speech all the way there and then I get up and I say to my friend, so how did I do? And she's like you nailed it, but you did not say one thing that you intended to say and I'm like not even the title, like not even the talk, like she's like no, and it's like I dissociate when I speak. I get out, I say whatever is guided just to talk about. And I heard a podcast on the way there. I was like okay, I'm going to stop practicing. It was about a two and a half hour drive. Stop running through my speech, I'm going to just listen to something a no brainer for a minute and a half hour drive. Stop running through my speech, I'm going to just listen to something a no brainer for a minute.
Speaker 2:And this lady said something on this podcast that just hit me wrong and it was like, oh no, what if somebody? I must've been thinking in my head, what if someone there heard that? And they, the conversation I didn't feel like was finished. It was about how awareness is a hundred percent of the key and once you're aware you're on your way to healing and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, there's still like acceptance and action and like action is the last thing. So my whole speech was about and it went through kind of the same points of my talk, but it was a totally different speech. And it was funny because I do I'm really bad when I speak. I focus on people. I can look right at you, but I'm in my head. I'm just like so it was funny.
Speaker 2:When I went back and watched it, she's like you didn't even notice that entire left side of the room was on their feet. I was like no, but I was like, well then it was them. Someone in that crowd needed to hear what I had to say and that's you know, that's why we do these podcasts. That's why we do these podcasts, that's why we do this. That's why we because people don't know what they don't know, and it's it could be I can. I send people to my podcast all the time. My own clients and I say go listen to episode 46. And then they'll say to me oh my gosh, jamie, I never thought about it like that. I'm like we've been talking about it for a month, so they just literally had to hear it from a different set of lips or a different perspective, you know, and so that's why we do what we do.
Speaker 1:I love. Yeah, I don't agree with that. Awareness is not like I feel like that's the plug in point. That's the very, I guess, the beginning, and then the work. That's why people don't do the work, that's why people say things like well, you know, that's just how I was raised and because it's a lot of work, it's a lot of work to unbecome the trauma, the neglect, the, the, the moments that made you feel small and really essentially molded the, like, the person you are right here, like the one that we see Right, and so, uh, and you said something, too, about disassociating. That stuck with me because this is something that I started doing.
Speaker 1:So I'm a musician, singer, songwriter, and I used to perform um, that's how I used to make a living and but I used to. So as a child I was very and I still am a very anxious person, but I was like, like, so anxious, and so I guess self, what is the word? I would self retreat that like I, I was just, I was really scared of the whole world, people, everything, right, so I, but I found music as like a way to disassociate and try to like, shift identity. So, but now I do it with speaking, too, on like on shows like this, and then being on other people's podcasts and then teaching and stuff. So I'm curious this is where I'm feeling led to talk about but what are you? What's your perspective on the whole disassociating thing?
Speaker 2:Um it, starts when, when you are very traumatized, it starts as a coping mechanism. You just, I can literally some of the worst moments of my life. I literally remember them. But I remember them standing outside of my body, watching me, with no feeling, no emotion, just being like, hmm, that sucks. I mean literally as a 16 year old, watching myself, just whatever was happening. And I think it just became a.
Speaker 2:It's a coping mechanism, it's a survival method in the beginning, but you know, people think that you literally have to be standing outside of your body and watching yourself to be dissociating. And it's really. It's more than that. It's when you are overwhelmed at work and you have seven different things to do and you don't know what to do. So what do you do? You pick up your phone and you turn on. You know, you open up Instagram. That's dissociating. It's anything that takes you that mental break away from what you can't deal with at the moment and it puts you in like your other zone. It's like it puts you in your safe space. So speaking could be that Like I could be. Oh my gosh, I'm nervous. And if you're a speaker and you're not nervous, there's something wrong, because you want to be able to be delivering the best message you can, but it's like you get into the safe zone and you're like, okay, I'm in my zone here and nothing is coming at you, and I think we do that a lot. I think kids do that, I think we all do that.
Speaker 2:I've actually had someone on one of my podcast episodes that was so abused by his brother that he had a completely dissociative amnesia, whatever, however, you say that, but 13 years he didn't know who he was. He was living, he was writing books, he was published in hundreds and hundreds of articles. He wrote books and then when he snapped back to and came back to his normal who he was, his family had defamation of lawsuit, definition of character, lawsuits against him and everything because he literally was that dissociated. That out of it, against him and everything because he literally was that dissociated that out of it. But you know it's. I'll give you an example as an adult who dissociates, my son had an accident one time and a fillet knife went through his hand and I was in a room with I think I was having a pampered chef party and I had like 15 other people in the room, 15 other ladies, and I literally wrapped his arm in a towel, sat down on the floor and was rocking him. He was about two and a half and in that moment I went around the room and I gave everybody something to do. I was like you call 911, you get my shoes, you take the dog, you do this, literally. And it was like, again, I couldn't tell you that I did that. They all told me I did that.
Speaker 2:My version was very small, my version was sitting there watching blood and holding my child and then when I went to the hospital, I completely passed out. But people are like well, that's cool to know. Like in a crisis, you are completely in control, completely calm, and I'm like, but I wasn't there. Mentally I was not there. Like you know what I'm like, but I wasn't there. I, mentally I was not there. Like you know what I'm saying, like I don't.
Speaker 2:It was crazy and that is a perfect example. I went into shock. My mind said, nope, not today. I'm going to do it this way. And and safe, tammy. And and calm, cool, collected, tammy stepped in. So I think there's so many different levels of dissociation, but I know it started from me that I it's like this fantasy world. I would just kind of sit there and take what I was having done to me and watch it as if I was. It wasn't me, and I think that is one of the reasons. When I started inner child work, I had so much disgust for myself. If that makes sense I don't know if you've done a lot of inner child work, but I couldn't stand to look at a picture of myself because I felt like you should have done something.
Speaker 2:That's how I started the whole process, like why didn't you scream, why didn't you do anything other than just lay there like you were? And it was that's what really prompted my OK. I got to go back and let this little girl know she, she did what she thought she had to do and she was. She did the she thought she had to do and she was. She did the best she did. At that moment you know, because it started very young for me- so how old would you say you were?
Speaker 2:Probably five or six. Yeah, I went through my the year before I went to school, maybe even four. I went through a bad year with my mother because my older brother had gone off just pre kindergarten or preschool or whatever. So I was home with my mother by myself every day and I had an infant sister, but she was not taking the brunt of anything physical and every day we went through the same process of watching the soap opera and me eating soft boiled eggs, which I can't stand and I don't like to this day. But she was a horrible cook so, like someday, I wouldn't eat them. So it was like the typical five-year-old, you know, like I'm not going to do it.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to do it. So some days I would get put in the closet, some days I would just get slapped around, some days they would be physically stuffed down my throat until I vomited. I mean, and it was every day this year until my brother got home from school. He would like let me out of the closet or whatever, slide me crackers. Whatever slide me crackers, whatever it was. But I remember that. I remember that when I think back about those times or I have dream about them, which I still do every maybe once a year or so I'm always standing outside of the closet or I'm always watching this happen to me, uh-huh.
Speaker 1:So I think it started very young. This is also and I know these are like very personal questions, but I'm asking because I'm I noticed these things in myself and and I too think it was around the age four or five where I started, but it would probably happen sooner, you know. But, like, these are the memories that I remember. So when you talked about like the disgust and starting that inner child work and whatnot, I think that is you know. We've talked about the plug-in point being awareness, right, and then the work becomes like the inner child work and that's the hard part, which is why a lot of people don't do it.
Speaker 1:But I'm curious what prompted? What does my brain want to say Hold on? At what point do you think that you were able to recognize, like the patterns that you were caught up in? And then did you have like this moment where you were like I don't, like this is, I don't want to be this way, I don't want to follow in their footsteps, I want to kind of create my own path? Was there like a light bulb moment for you?
Speaker 2:Because, there was a lot when I was young, like teenage years, when my dad had sent me to go live with my mother. They were divorced at the time and just horrific things were happening and there was a time where I tried to, I contemplated taking her life and then it was like who the heck am I? Because it was like that's when I realized, wow, I hate myself so much that I was willing to try to take my own life out of the guilt of wanting to take her life. Does that make sense? So, like I was, like Nope, it's not going to be me. Like who am I to take her life, even though she's done all this stuff? I'm going to try to take my own. Of course, by the grace of God that did not work, but I wouldn't be standing here today. But that's when I moved back and I was like I got to figure this out. I was, you know, massive anxiety and panic attacks and but I was still in survival mode.
Speaker 2:But it wasn't until I was 26, getting ready to have my first child, and I was reading that book Love you Forever. Do you ever read it? Oh my gosh. So I'm rocking back and forth and I'm like it should be this really serendipitous, like, oh, this is so fun, this is exciting, yeah. So for people the listeners that have not read it, it's the story of unconditional love between a mother and her son, and she's loving him through all the stages, singing the song to him, and at the end the tides are turned and she's old and frail and he's now rocking her back and forth, singing the same song, but saying my mommy, you'll be, and what should have been the most like oh, I can't wait for that moment. It hit me like being hit in the side of the head by a freaking two by four that I didn't even know what unconditional love felt like, oh man. And I was like how in the hell, like I don't know if I can cuss on here.
Speaker 1:Well, it's called just women talking shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's women talking shit, so I guess I can. So I was like, how in the hell am I going to raise a child? So I also knew, because my mother was a child psychiatrist, after reading all of her books, that just doing the exact opposite was not the answer. So I threw myself into everything I could figure out as far as like suicide and alcoholism and addiction and abuse and neglect and rape and insensitivity, like everything I could read about, because we didn't have the internet back then. Boy, I would have been a lot quicker, it would have been so much quicker, you know. But that's when I realized, wow, it's. You know, I remember I was like I got to get in therapy. That was everybody's answer.
Speaker 2:And, of course, my mother being a child psychiatrist and having jacked up my head as bad as she did, I was a little hesitant, you know. And but what I did realize in going to therapy, was it? It really it was like slapping me with a book of obviously awake, like awakening my awareness to the fact that there was so many major fundamental beliefs that were wrong. And I mean, I did all the things that I would have expected to do I got married, I went to school I got a master's degree. I did all of that.
Speaker 2:I married the first guy that told me he loved me. I married someone who was exactly like my parents. You know what I mean. So that didn't last. It lasted five years, still very close with him, but that's okay. But I did all those things and in that was the healing process. So, like yes, my first two children took a lot of the brunt of that. I didn't understand boundaries. I didn't understand. I did understand unconditional love though, and I can say that because as soon as I realized I didn't, I went out and bought myself an eight week old puppy and I thought what a test of the human spirit to even know if I'm capable of unconditional love. And when I held that puppy in my hand, like she was little, he was literally this big and my heart, freaking, melted, and then I knew I was going to be okay. That was the moment I knew I was going to be okay and I was like and it like I'd never felt my heart melt before.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, and.
Speaker 2:I was 26, now I'm 56. So that was 30 years ago. But boy, a lot of growing in there, a lot of growing.
Speaker 1:And it's, it's painful too, like I love that you're showing up and just, I mean, a lot of people don't have the courage to share these dark parts. You know, like, like something that I've been talking about on my journey is and I don't know how to label it but like sex work and the shame that comes with that. You know, I put myself in these situations and I had such disgust for such a long time, but it's like I don't know how else I would have learned what I learned without putting myself in that situation, without repeating the mistakes that I swear to God I would not replay.
Speaker 1:I, you know, growing up with a mom who is kind of crazy, I sounds like your mom has some really fucked up issues and we're just going to call it what it is Right, that's fucked up, Um, and my mom was really fucked up, but like it's just so, it's just also interesting. Like I don't know how I would have learned the lessons I'd learned, and I don't know how I would be so advanced in awareness had I not experienced it all. You know what I mean. So it's like it's a weird predicament to be in.
Speaker 2:And that's my biggest. You know, when I, when I help people through things, I'm like you don't have to go back and relive this stuff, you have to go back and name it and claim it and you do have to sit with it but give it other meanings. And that's why I think, why I got NLP certified because it was a lot about reframing things and giving things different meanings and everything. But I don't feel like I don't like going back like hypnotherapy and pulling up the dredging and making you relive the absolute trauma, like I don't agree with that. I never did that and luckily I never did that. But what you have to do is you have to be able to somehow work with a therapist, a counselor, a group, whatever it is, to be able to get to the point that through all of the like OK, that happened, and truly believe it wasn't your fault.
Speaker 2:Because at the bottom of all of this is this sense of unworthiness, like it was really I had. I mean, when you're so abused, you have zero respect for your own body. I had zero, zero, didn't care Whatever it was, what it was, and because nobody else had, nobody even taught me that was a thing and I could have lived for years in self-hatred because of the way I acted. I could have, but I was. I had to just kind of give it up. You know, like I was doing this, like you said, to learn this. I was doing this to know what I don't want to do, or I don't want to teach my children, and the only thing I could do through all of it was just to continue to give myself grace I had.
Speaker 2:I was listening to a podcast the other day and the lady said that I didn't start to heal until I accepted the fact that everything was my fault and learned to move forward. And I was like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I like literally immediately, like my next episode was it's never your fault as a child, because I was like you, acted on survival mode. Nothing before the age of really eight or nine is ever a child's fault. They can't even process right and wrong and thinking and all that stuff. So, but the things that you do at 10, 11, 12 and into your early twenties, but the things that you do at 10, 11, 12 and into your early 20s because you just don't get it, that's not your fault either and that's the hard part to give yourself grace on.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is super difficult because you, that's where the fine line of like victimhood and then you know, coming out of it as a victor, like it's a really weird fine line and it's just like, because there's so much shame, like you were talking about, there's this fundamental like you don't have, you don't feel worthy, you know, and that comes from the shame and being shut out and being told to shut up and whatever the neglect and abuse looked like. And so first off, I got to go back and commend you again. These are freaking hard conversations to air out.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry To air out.
Speaker 1:It's not nothing to be sorry for. But I'm saying, like these are the conversations I'm here for. Like let's talk about the shit that we did Not put each other down, or be like yeah, yeah, you shouldn't have done that or done that, but like it is so cool for you to be able to sit here and talk about your life. Because here and talk about your life Because a lot of us, especially being abused, have that like Stockholm syndrome Like, yeah, like you were saying it's my fault, and to be able to show up so brave and be like, no, this is my fucking story, this is my truth. It's so powerful because I talk to my clients all the time. And like it's been a really big part of my story too. Like my mom is still alive and we are still working on our relationship and she she'll hop onto my social media and she'll tell my daughter things like I wish she would have talked to me about that first before she said anything. And I'm like but it's my story, right? You know, it's my story. This is how I remember it and it's unfortunate that you remember it differently, but I know that in my deep like in in my hardwired nervous system, I'm 35. I still wake up with anxiety, I still throw up in the mornings, I'm still in survival mode, doing the best I can, and so it's just I got to commend you and anybody.
Speaker 1:I think what, what I'm trying to segue into is that part of the healing which, first off, you're never going to be healed. It's such a process. If you're alive, there's something to work on, you know. But I found such freedom in being able to finally say you know what, mom, I respect you, but you got to respect me too. And I'm going gonna share my story because, unless I'm naming her, putting her name out there, I don't feel like I'm doing any harm, because people are resonating. They're like holy fucking shit, and it takes that, like you were saying, like when you send your your um episodes from another podcast to your clients and it's just, it's that like that credibility and they're like, oh well, you were on this podcast and it creates this whole new perspective, like I needed to hear it at this point in time and this format for it to make sense.
Speaker 1:And I'm just like it's hard to share the story, but maybe I'd like for you to talk about sharing that story Like cause, that's, you have your awareness and then you know you have to do all that, navigating self-discovery, unbecoming of the old beliefs, dah, dah, dah. But the hardest part is typically to talk about it in the first place, because what I find is you're scared of what you're going to find, but you're also scared of putting your story out there and like, well, what are they going to say? What are the you know? Because there's a lot of judgment and shame and like it's really hard to talk about my relationship with my mom, but she, she's got to know I love her, or I would not be working so hard to repair our relationship and to talk about this so that other people can learn from it. You know what I mean, right, where do you start with that?
Speaker 2:I know you said well, but Every time I don't care if you go to an Al-Anon meeting, an Alateen meeting, an ACOA meeting, which is Adult Children of Alcoholics, I don't care where you go. Every time you tell your story and you release that negative energy from your body, you heal a little bit more Now. It's hard at first. It really is. But even when I started, I went to Al-Anon for six months and sat in meetings and never opened my mouth. I literally never opened my mouth, just sat there. But in that sitting there I was going oh my God, she's me. Oh my God, she's me. Holy shit, this lady knows what I've been through.
Speaker 2:And then I realized, like, okay, so I'm like calculating one day, I'm like, okay, there's like 17,000 Al-Anon meetings going on right now. That's like millions. Like there are millions of people that are going through the same thing and so many of them think they're the only ones. Like I have clients that go. Oh, you wouldn't understand. I'm like, girl, there's not a story you can tell me that I haven't heard before. Like there's just not, you know, it's. Nothing is that unique that it hasn't in some way shape or form happened to other people. So people need to know. Like I started looking at it as this isn't. For me, this is to give the next person the courage to tell their story. It's a, you know, I felt like I was almost like a traveling salesperson at first. Like you know, I'm like not telling you is doing you a disservice, like not sharing and not letting you know that you are heard, you are loved, you are validated and you are by far not the only one out there. And for the people that judge me and I know they're out there, if I hear one more time, I don't know how you talk about your parents like that. Well, both of my parents are passed by the way. So it became much easier. Honestly, not much easier.
Speaker 2:My mom I was okay. My father, even though my father was an alcoholic, he, we had a very good relationship and I always say I mean he just was fighting his own demons and just was not emotionally. He never abused me, he never. He tried to save me the best he could, but he didn't know how because he was fighting his own demons. But I didn't talk a lot. I remember him telling me you should write a book. You're so good at writing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and me saying, man, my book would be about you, boo, and you know.
Speaker 2:But just talking it, every time you talk, I'm all about energy. You know we're all energy. And again, I don't know whether you call it God universal energy, whatever you call it, it's all the same to me and all of the negative needs to get out and all of the positive needs to come in. So the more you can speak positivity into the world and at the same time get rid of that negative energy, the better you're doing, even if you're talking. That's why I loved inner child work. Even if you're talking to a picture of yourself on the mirror, you're still doing it. You're still getting out the negativity. You're getting out the things that you held in, because I feel not a doctor, so don't quote me on this, but I feel like it's.
Speaker 2:Every single disease, every single ailment, every single everything stems back to shit. You've gotten your body. You can't get out. It's screaming to get out. You know you've got all this shit bottled up and it just depends on where you put it. So if you put it in your stomach, I promise you. I mean at 18, I had bleeding ulcers, I was throwing up blood. Oh my God. No doctor ever said to me hey, have you been stressed out for 18 years? You know, when I got arthritis in my jaw it was because I talked too much, not because. Well, maybe I spent the first nine years with my blocked teeth clenched. Do you ever think that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you're so nervous and stressed and yeah, so man, oh man, oh man, oh my gosh, my brain just skipped out for a second. Oh, you were talking about. So I really think that it's because of the way I was brought up the brain damage of having to survive, like the narcissism, and like your brain literally has to create new neural like. You know this. You're talking about energy work and so I'm really big into with my coaching because I did not want to be that way. I've been really honest with my listeners and in my content that the whole thing that started my like spiritual and personal development journey with neuroscience and um, neuroplasticity and energy work and all that was, I literally was like I don't want to become my mother, I don't want to fucking become my dad, because I could see, I see, in these moments where I speak like her, I'm condescending, but and I was just like a mix of things and I was like I don't want to be a shit person, right, right. But I could not agree more. And yeah, we're not doctors, but it makes sense If you store energy and you hold onto it.
Speaker 1:There's a bot. There's a book called the body keeps score. For anybody listening. Love that book so good. I'm not done with it yet, but I'm on this chapter where they're talking about incest. And something that I've not been super open about is I have memories of being really young and my boy cousins doing things with me, but also memories of my uncle who just passed, which is why I had to go back to the fucking church and be there. It was actually very healing to see I'm not crazy all these people literally are still the same way and I'm not making it up because you know like whenever it's been so long, you're like this is surely just a fucking figment of my imagination, right.
Speaker 1:But it was like good to go back and see, oh okay, yeah, these are real characters in my story and they are how I remember them. But oh my God, okay, so where were we at? The body keeps score, all that. But it it makes sense Like I still find myself in moments where I'm like my stomach is sucked in and I'm like and I think back to when I was little, I would. I was so stressed out. I mean, no child should have to take care of their siblings and miss school 80 days a year, right? No child should have to sit up and wait for her mom to come home after three days of saying I'm going out for Taco Bell and wondering if she's dead or alive, right? So it's like the body does keep score.
Speaker 1:And what I was gravitating towards was you said something about you know, I'm not a doctor, but if you're storing all this negativity in your gut, you can create disease and it goes back to you know, dr Joe Dispenza. I love him, do you? I love him, he's so good. Some people are like on the line on the fence about him and I'm like I don't know, I don't, I I'm obsessed he makes. He really makes sense to me.
Speaker 2:It just makes total sense. And when somebody, when they say, you know, do this exercise. It's like I used to do with my kids when I used to teach first grade. I used to be, we used to do this power, the Superman and the power, you know, super woman. I was like open it up, guys. And this is before I knew anything. I was like open it up. I'm like, don like, open it up. I'm like don't you feel big? Like say I am big. And we used to do that, like I was teaching first grade and it's just because so many of them I knew when I got into teaching, I could see it in their eyes. They, you know, they were down, they were slumped, they were you know, and, and I love, I don't know who the psychologist is, but I says, you know, ask yourself this question like, what does it feel like to eat your favorite food and how does your body feel?
Speaker 2:Like? Oh well, it feels warm and fuzzy and I'm picturing myself eating, you know, whatever it is, a big cinnamon burrito, whatever, I don't know what it is, but you feel good. Now ask yourself, you know, or say to yourself, I deserve all good things because and then pause 95% of the people I work with will go Ooh, I'm like, where do you feel it in your body? No, like, ooh my back, ooh my lower hip, ooh my stomach. Ooh my head, ooh my jaw got a little tight. Then we still got some work to do. No matter how much you say, I I'm there. I feel 100% worthy. It's still because you cannot control a subconscious physiological response to a thought.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, and it's that first thought and this goes back to the brain again, how we were conditioned and if you have been through abuse, especially as a child, where your brain is, those are the prime years of development Like you are building foundational beliefs, your confidence is being set, all the things, and it's like, yeah, you can't control the subconscious, like that first subconscious response and I think that we were taught to not listen to that and that's like the intuition. And so it's so funny that you were saying you know, before you knew about all the energy, like the power stances and all that power poses that you were just drawn to tell the kids open up. And it's kind of like a, like an animal If you ever noticed my dogs laying out in the yard sunbathing right now. But when she's frustrated or has extra energy, what does do she's like?
Speaker 1:or when they get out of the bath and they're like, and they shake it off. We weren't taught to do that, so like, we, as children, had to take on the brunt of all this abuse and then be told to like, like you, being locked in a fucking closet, what the fuck? Right, literally being trapped with these emotions and we're not taught how to get them out in a healthy way. Right, and it's if you don't, if you don't move that energy, it does get stuck. And what I was. Whenever I was talking about Dr Joe Dispenza I can't remember if it was his book Evolve your Brain, or the one about, or the one about oh my God, what is the other one? About identity, but shifting identity. Why can I not think of it right now, anyway, but he was talking about how, and this is a common theory for other people too. But dis-ease, if you listen to like, like the word itself Break it down, yeah, break it down, dis-ease. You're not at ease. Like you are suffering, you, it down yeah.
Speaker 1:Break it down. It's dis-ease, you're not at ease, like you are suffering, you are not feeling well. But what do we do? Like we just mask it. Oh, let me just take it all in all, let me, and it's like if we would really get honed in on that intuition and trust in ourselves and do the work in that area, like you're saying the back, the stomach, whatever your body's giving you indicators all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and if you just look at, I mean I know I love I'm not any kind of certified or anything like that, but I love all kinds of somatic healing exercises and that's what you know like you were saying that I do that with people at work because I work part-time in a restaurant and I actually love it. But I'm like the guru there and they'll come to me with having panic attacks and anxiety attacks and I'm like stick your finger in your ear and just hum, you know, and they're like what the hell I've not heard of that one.
Speaker 2:Hold on, you just put your finger in your ear. It's the vagal nerve toning like the vagal nerve stuff. So it's like you put your finger in your ear and you just rub it around and then, anytime you can like, instead of singing it vibrates that nerve that goes right from your like all the way down into your gut, the vagus nerve, but it instantly calming and they're like, wow, that's interesting.
Speaker 1:That's super interesting, but again. So I'm having all these little flat, like these little light bulb moments, and it's so funny because I told you that I still struggle in the mornings. The only saving grace right now is it's a doctor prescribed me something called Vistaril which is for anxiety. Nothing like Xanax doesn't get you high, nothing like that. But it literally has helped me in the mornings to where I'm not like purging and sitting there wrenched over the toilet like hurting so bad. But what's so? What is ironic about this conversation right here is I didn't know the whole. You know finger in the air and humming, but my husband knows when it's a rough morning for me because I hum, but I've never known and it was my intuition that said hum and it calms me down, but I noticed it slows my heart rate, yep, and all these things. And so that's super interesting. Listen to your intuition, people.
Speaker 2:Well, and it's funny because listen to it both ways. You know, I say that like if something. I always tell people and that's what we're trying to do, that's what I'm trying to do with all my clients is to understand that if something feels wrong, it probably is. Your intuition is so spot on, you know. And if something feels right, it probably is. So when you get that like, oh, I don't think so, and make things non-negotiables, like people are like well, I don't know how to set boundaries. You have a goal. What is your goal? Know your why, know what you're looking for. Mine is just peace and harmony and serenity. So if somebody says, hey, tammy, you want to do this, and my instinct goes, oh, no, not really. And then I go, oh, yeah, sure, I guess. So Is that getting to me to my goal of peace and serenity? Hell, frickin, no. So I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2:And once you can start making those non-negotiables and decide, decide, that's the big one. Decide, you want to take back control of your emotional life, you will. It's just you have to be so steadfast and nope. You know, when I go to, I'm doing something and I need to get something done for work, and I'm like, oh gosh, I don't even know where to begin. What do I do? I pick up and I hit Instagram and I'm like, nope, can't do it right now. Or I will say to myself okay, tammy, clearly you're a little overwhelmed right now. So five minutes, five minutes. I'm going to set a timer. You can scroll for five minutes and then get your ass back to work, because that is what you need to be doing right now, yeah, non-negotiables, which is really hard boundaries for people who have undergone or like went through abuse.
Speaker 1:It's really fucking hard because and I tell my clients this it's because we're like especially if you're in a situation where you're abused or neglected as a kid, like you are literally taught to respect somebody else's boundaries, but they can do whatever they want with you, and so it makes sense that you go through life people pleasing yes, yes, yes, yes, I'll do that, and I don't want to, but, like you were saying, it does not get you closer to your goal and it was really hard for me to accept.
Speaker 1:I need to be selfish, because what's really interesting is is that when you are in an abusive relationship if it's with your parents, romantic, whatever, platonic, even at work I find these relationships exist, but it's like so difficult because nine times out of 10, they've gotten into your head in this way that they like they're 10 steps ahead, they planned it all out, and so they have this like this guilt power over you to make you feel like, oh well, you're finally, you're finally manning up, and now, like it takes your power away. So, but, like you were saying, you kind of just have to. You kind of just have to make your mind up Right and to break break the pattern that we were saying it's really so much of it is choice.
Speaker 2:I mean, that is the one thing that God gave us that we can, cannot be taken away from you, is free will. Yeah, it's free will. So, and it's very, very hard, but I mean boundaries. We could literally talk for two weeks on just boundaries, on literally, I mean, and it is so, so hard. And I know a lot of people are like, well, they're going to get mad. Who gives a shit? Well, they're not going to be like me. Who gives a shit? That was the day that I finally decided that what other people thought of me was none of my business was my favorite day.
Speaker 1:I like, I like how you said that. What other people think of me is none of my business.
Speaker 2:I don't care. You know, if you you're going to have haters. Not everybody is meant. People are meant to come and go for you from your life and I think that happens for a reason it's to help you grow. It's to help they come in. You might get something that might benefit both of you immensely, but they might not be in the next season of your life. So you're going to, when you start setting boundaries, you're going to change the people in your world. When you really really, really decide this is it, it will change and it's going to hurt for a hot minute, but every emotion will pass in 90 seconds if you just give it a chance.
Speaker 1:I hadn't thought about that 90 seconds. Is it bring out my clock? Okay, Am I done. I mean, I have.
Speaker 2:I literally have people at work that are having anxiety attacks and they're like I'm not breathing. Well, you will in 90 seconds if you let yourself and they're like okay, 90. And then we count back really fast, cause it's you got to do that in about 10 seconds. But you know what I'm saying Like, and I have them like literally at work. It's so funny, or, you know, we, we talk, I just have them at work. I'm 56 years old, working in a restaurant, so I work with a lot of young people but I love it. But we have them doing frequency down, like my manager's, like you got this place really woo, but it's okay. You know, if you've got stress and like people will go. Oh, these people are making me crazy and I'm like well, think about the day they had. Why do you think they're snapping at you? Maybe they just lost their puppy, you never know. So go out there with a freaking smile and know that is killing with kindness, because it's going to keep your energy high. Who gives a shit about theirs? You?
Speaker 2:know I mean you've got it. You really have to decide. I want my life to be happy, and it's not gonna be happy all the time. But even the bad moments, learn from them, use them for something, use them to teach something, use them for something.
Speaker 1:Everything is given to you for for a reason everything so yeah, and it doesn't feel that way all the time when you're in the thick of it and like shit's going off here and off there, especially restaurant energy, uh, industry I, that's how I used to make ends meet, right, that, and playing music and so, and it's such a stressful environment and I love that you have people saying don't bring my frequency down, because I would almost so whenever I talk to people about, like you know, these are like first world problems, right, we get upset with things and people don't realize how good they have it and we get caught up in emotions, right, but, like you were saying, like we don't know what kind of day they had, I have started seeing every time I go out, it's it.
Speaker 1:It was originally a mind game for myself to push myself past the social anxiety social anxiety but like it's almost like a challenge If you really think about it. Like I, if I were back in the restaurant industry, I would see it as such a challenge and I'd be like oh my God, they're not having a good day. How the fuck can I make them smile by the end of this meal?
Speaker 2:Right, I amen, because that is my I make. I don't leave a table until I've made them smile or giggle or laugh or something, I don't know. I love it Because then the whole meal is better. Yeah, or their next 90 seconds is better. I mean, and you know, I work at a decent restaurant where people come in for funeral and celebration of life and it's a bunch of different people, but it's the whole. You'll feed off everybody. We're all energy and so it's contagious.
Speaker 2:There's more than a reason that it's just for the people out there listening. It's not just when you smile, the person next to you smiles. It is literally matching frequencies. I mean, they have shown that if you strum the G chord on a guitar and there's a G chord, there's a guitar on the other side of the room, the G cord will vibrate Frequencies, energy like. So, keep it positive. Like that's and and it's hard Sometimes it's hard.
Speaker 2:I tell people to be grateful for something. You know five things before they even get out of bed. There were days where I've had people say to me I don't have anything. I'm like are you alive? Yes, then start there. Thank you for giving me another day. You know, if you don't have a roof over your head. You know, think, be thankful you have something to sleep on. You know I mean you've got to start small and it's. Everything is baby steps. You know, with boundaries, if you don't know how to, you're not going to start boundaries like this hugest thing that you've been dealing with your entire life, like cutting off your mom before you know how to ask for something at a restaurant that isn't on the menu. Start small.
Speaker 1:I love it so much. So, before I forget, because I know we're approaching our time, but oh my God, my nose is itching. One second Scratch it, girl, scratch it. I think when I get like really passionate and moving, like I'm starting to notice in my body how the energy comes out, and it can be like a little sometimes, I get like this little face twitch and I'm like, oh, I must be having a really good time because I'm smiling so much.
Speaker 2:My feet tingle, okay, and I used to think it was because maybe I was sitting too long, but no, it's my feet tingle, yeah, like you get activated.
Speaker 1:Um, it's just these funny little things, and my nose itching is a thing lately, so anybody that watches this, I'm not picking in my nose, I'm just really excited about this conversation. Okay, but things I want to mention real quick that are coming through for me. Emotional intelligence that was really big for me. I wish I would have known it sooner and I would recommend anybody and everybody, if you feel easily triggered by things, really start to like practice emotional intelligence, because that really helped me with my nervous system. But also it allows you to not take things so personally. Right, like there's a detachment whenever you have emotional intelligence and I did not know that was a thing whenever I was younger, because everybody flies off the handle Like and then the boundaries thing boundaries are healthy, they are so fucking healthy. Okay, and the people that have you convinced they're not healthy are the habitual boundary line steppers who you're creating the boundaries for. And then, what was the other thing that might've been it? I had to mention those two things before.
Speaker 2:And, like I said, we could go on and on, we could talk forever, you and I, obviously I love our energy too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're awesome, by the way, you too, this is awesome, but okay, so can you give our audience just some? I like to do like these last words of wisdom, whatever you know you want to part with from your heart, whatever messages come through, because what I find is my listeners are they have problems that they're not even aware of yet. You know, we're like getting really stuck in a really fast world where we need to slow down and get back to the basics. So, with your life experience, with your professional experience, you've written how many books? Just two, oh, just two. No big deal, but so you've written some books. You're a speaker, you're working at a restaurant, you're doing all these things, expressing yourself fully, enjoying the human experience. What comes to mind that you feel somebody out there needs to hear right now?
Speaker 2:That, no matter what or no matter how old you are it doesn't matter what age you are 10 to 105, if you wake up in the morning and you are not where you want to be mentally, physically and spiritually, like you're not feel like you're doing everything you're capable of and everything you could be doing find someone that'll help you get there and know 100% that you are worth every second of it. And the process isn't always easy. It's simple. It's simple steps, but it's not always easy. But every single step forward is 100% worth it and you're worth it.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, so good. I love that you mentioned age, because I mean that's whatever age you're at. You either think you're too young, too old, like there's.
Speaker 2:It tends to be one of the you know the first excuses as to why why you can't do something that the lady on my podcast yesterday was 84 and just written her first book Shut up, a memoir.
Speaker 1:Fuck, yes, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. But but to close it up, you know you're saying find somebody right, and I think that no matter where you're at with finances, even you can find somebody. I remember for me I was a single mom. This is when I got into. I was back and forth between sugar daddies and trying to figure out how to survive right, and going through all these weird situations to learn from. But in that process is where I found kind of a shame to admit this, because I feel like he's washed out. He's not washed out, he's just gotten so big that I feel it's a little cliche. But I discovered Tony Robbins.
Speaker 2:And from Tony, yeah, so many people started with Tony Robbins.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like this sounds so cliche right now, but whatever, but Tony Robbins. And then I discovered Mel Robbins yeah, I'm like this sounds so cliche right now, but whatever, but Tony Robbins. And then I discovered Mel Robbins. And then I discovered people like Gary Vaynerchuk, and, and the more I got curious and you know, dr Joe Dispenza, I started to figure out like I followed their footsteps, I started taking their recommendations and that's how I started like the whole rewiring my brain and the inner child work and all that.
Speaker 1:So what I, what I wanted to close off with was you could start with books, people, wherever you are in your journey. You know, just like with that gratitude exercise, you're saying I don't know, I don't have nothing to be grateful for. I used to feel that way. I'm sure you used to feel that way, right, and it's like if you have ears to hear this with right now, that is something to be grateful for. If you're able to watch the replay of this, you have eyeballs how fucking cool is that? If you can go hug your child tonight, like how incredible is that? Like just senses in general.
Speaker 2:That's where I started with like yep, and just the fact that you've survived means you are way stronger than you're giving yourself credit for period oh, I can't remember where you made me think of something.
Speaker 1:I heard that some I'll I'll think of it later but someone else said something similar to that and you know, it's kind of like the you didn't come this far to only come this far, but maybe that's how we end this episode is? You know, we were talking about overcoming, being a victim and becoming a victor. But like, if you stop and think about it, like everything you've been through, you're a fucking warrior, you're a warrior, I'm a warrior, and it's such a beautiful thing to think about that. If you've overcome, if you're here today, that's like you're amazing.
Speaker 1:You're amazing Because being human is hard and people die every day and, like you were saying, the suicide attempt and I've thought about taking my life several times Right and so to be here and it's like in itself is an accomplishment. Tammy, you're so awesome. I love you so much already. I love your energy and you've got uh for those who can't see her, she's so beautiful. She's got this really glowy face. It's the florida, uh, the florida tan going on and this probably a little wavy hair a little. I know about the waves because it's humidity, like your hair just kind of stays. Um, but I would love for you to tell everyone, tell us the name of your books, where to find them, where to find you online, not the restaurant, we don't need any stalkers, I'm kidding but how can we find you, how can we work with you and all those things?
Speaker 2:Probably the easiest thing is just to go to my website. It's TammyVincentcom, so it's just my name. I have my books on there, I have my courses on there. You can get a free consultation, book, a chat with me. I am all about. I truly, truly believe, like you said about finances, that people that grew up in this kind of world like 50 bucks a month, like I. I am all about reaching the masses. I want more people to move towards the world they want. So just go to my website.
Speaker 1:It's the easiest thing, that's yeah that's easy enough and I love that you're making it affordable. This is this is something that I have been struggling with, because in our industry, we're taught, like you know, the marketing's back and forth, back and forth high ticket, high ticket. We're taught, like you know, the marketing's back and forth, back and forth high ticket, high ticket, dah, dah, dah, dah. And I literally just enrolled somebody for $50 a month and the amount of fucking gratitude from this person is like it shakes me to my core because it's I'm making such a difference already and so I love it.
Speaker 1:I love that you're doing that and going against the grain, because a lot of people are their non-negotiable is like go sell your car to work with me or some shit like that, and I'm like what the fuck? What happened to integrity?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what happened? I mean I want to reach as many people as possible because, like I said, if more people could get that energy, just that authentic, real energy, that's what we need. We need authentic connection and if more people can put it out into the world, the world will be a better place and people will feed off of it and problems will be solved that we didn't even know we had.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know you see me over here and you're like what the fuck is she doing, but this is me shaping the world. We can make a difference, people. It requires people like you being maybe not comfortable, but getting out there and doing the uncomfortable things, like sharing the stories and sharing the stuff that we're not willing to talk about, so that we can give them that plug-in point of awareness. And then everybody, because, like you said, everything's energy and I really feel like if we women like us can get out there and talk about this more and make it affordable and whatnot, um, that we can. I I my husband says I'm crazy, but I truly feel like I can change the world. Do you feel like that with your crusade?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'd rather have 10,000 people at $50 a month than you know 20 at five at 50,000. I a month than you know 20 at five at 50,000. I, I, I want masses of people to get healed and feel better, not even get healed. Like you said, it's a journey. There's no end point, but there is serenity out there and peace and self-love and self-compassion. It's out there.
Speaker 1:I think that's the selling point is the inner peace, like you can't put a price on that, and I'm not saying that anybody should go out there and work for free, but like to make it accessible to people that probably need it the most is a beautiful thing. So I'm so grateful for you that you're doing that Well, thank you, oh, and I think that's our time. My phone said you got 20% of battery left. Oh no, okay. Oh God, tammy, I'm just over the moon with you. I never know how the energy is gonna be in these interviews, and it's always just so refreshing when I find somebody that I connect with so well, and it's just like natural, that natural flow of energy. And so thank you again for your expertise. You've been amazing.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for having me on, Jacqueline. I'm excited. I'm excited to be here and glad I can share with your audience.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. It really does. It means the world, because I just it's just a little old country girl in Mississippi sitting I'm about to take this shirt off. It's getting hot now but just doing the damn thing, you know, just doing it. And so, listeners, you also do the damn thing, whatever that means for you. You know, be more like Tammy, go out there and be brave and share your story and start the healing journey. It's hard, it's not going to be simple. I think that you know it's marketed as oh, it's like flow and healing, oh no, there are days where I go and I scream in a pillow and I beat the shit out of my bed. Okay, but, which is healthy? Yeah, but I'm better for it, right, and so, all right, I guess we got to go go check out. Tammy, she's amazing. Thank you again. Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Speaker 2:No, just, I really really appreciate you letting me share, and to all the people out there listening, you're so worth it. Just go go help. Go help somebody, go smile and put a smile on someone else's face today.
Speaker 1:All right, y'all.
Speaker 1:I'm going to close it out with something that Tammy said earlier, and that is that in the beginning stages of sharing your story, it's very hard, right, but you got to start somewhere, and I love how you said that you were able to kind of, and it's that.
Speaker 1:It's probably from your ability to disassociate and step outside your body but to look at the bigger picture and it is it's a disservice not to go out there and share your story. So, if you're able, if you're one of those people that believe and there is a bigger vision, think about yourself that way, like who could you talk to today that you could change the whole trajectory of their life? And would you agree, as we close, that in sharing your story is you're talking about it being liberating and it's like you heal a little bit each time. Liberating and it's like you heal a little bit each time. But I feel like the more I share, the more I'm bringing in the people that were meant for me. But it's almost like I'm able to find my purpose a little bit more each time when I share Absolutely, because it's just like anything else when you do something, you do it.
Speaker 2:Well, when people come to you and go oh, thank you, jacqueline, it feeds into that. And each time you're going to help someone else and you'll know that the minute you get that person saying you know, I had a 20 year old reach out to me and say you know, miss V, if it wasn't for you I had this magic mailbox program, which is a whole thing when I was teaching first grade. But she said, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here today. And that one statement from one little girl, 14 years after I taught her, was enough to from to reinvigorate my purpose, cause we all have a purpose, we all do yeah, or multiple purposes.
Speaker 1:Multiple.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, and you just you got to have two things in life to really thrive, and that's hope and purpose. And you just you got to have two things in life to really thrive, and that's hope and purpose.
Speaker 1:I love it so much. Oh man, all right. Well, I hate to say bye, but I guess we're, I guess I got to go. But again, thank you, and I've just had the best time ever. In case you can't tell, I think I've said it 10 times in the past two minutes, but Nope, you're good. Well, thank you so much.
