Just Women Talking Shit
Just Women Talking Shit is your go-to self-help podcast for real talk on personal & spiritual growth. Hosted by Jacquelynn Cotten, personal evolution mentor & founder of Spiritual Support System, this podcast features juicy interviews with badass, one-of-a-kind women. We dive deep into the good 💩, bad 💩, weird 💩, & life 💩, offering insights & inspiration to help you live a more authentic, fulfilled life. Join us for relatable stories, expert advice, & practical tips on overcoming challenges, building resilience, & embracing your true self. Tune in & start your journey towards personal evolution today!
Just Women Talking Shit
Ep 80: Unlocking Your Full Potential: The Power of a Positive Mindset
What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies in shifting your mindset? This episode marks a monumental milestone as we approach our 100th celebration of "Just Women Talking Shit." Our journey began humbly, with raw conversations and personal growth, now evolving into a series filled with expert wisdom and professional consistency. I, Jacquelynn Cotten, am here to share my transformative story with you, reflecting on how a positive mindset can be a game-changer for personal fulfillment and success. Subscribe, leave a review, and help us spread this powerful message.
Get on the 2025 Spiritual Portal WAIT LIST here 👉 https://bit.ly/2024-retreat-waitlist
Join me as I get candid about overcoming a tumultuous childhood, battling body image issues, bulimia, and substance abuse, and the life-changing moment of discovering neuroscience. With insights from Mel Robbins and Dr. Joe Dispenza, we delve into the neurological and energetic foundations of behavior. This episode is all about breaking cycles, embracing discomfort, and committing to continuous self-improvement, one day at a time. If you're ready to transform into the best version of yourself, this enriching journey is for you. Let's aim for a life filled with fulfillment and no regrets.
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Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to Just Women Talking Shit with your host, jacqueline Cotton. Welcome back to Just Women Talking Shit. Welcome back to Just Women Talking Shit. This is your host, jacqueline Cotton, and, oh my gosh, do we have an episode for you today and, honestly, for the rest of the year? So I know it's been a minute, I've been on break, but I'm back and we are on our way to our 100th fucking episode.
Speaker 1:I remember whenever I had this idea to start this podcast. I literally have a picture and I will totally post it on Instagram with this episode when it comes out. But I remember starting this podcast and I took a picture of my setup and my setup was nothing. It was and it still is nothing really, just a laptop and a phone. I would go back and forth between laptop and my phone. Turns out a fucking iPhone sounds a lot better than a laptop. So I do a lot of my recording, like now, in my iPhone, which I think is really cool.
Speaker 1:Now, eventually, we're going to get to the point where it's super, super professional and I'd like to think that there will be a studio and we'll make this thing a big deal. But until then, I want to celebrate each step of the way, and that starts with celebrating 100 episodes. It's a huge milestone, something that I promised to myself that I would celebrate and celebrate fiercely, because who else to celebrate my success than myself? I started this right and I want you to think about that Tracking up to the 100th episode, which will finish us out for the year in one of the last weeks of December I think. The last episode is like December 22nd. Don't take my word for that. That's what's coming to mind, but I can't quite remember Anywho. So I have an amazing, amazing series of shows planned for you. We are going to have some incredible experts, licensed professionals, smart people with all the degrees, all the certifications, lifetimes of experience, wisdom and firsthand accounts.
Speaker 1:So, if you're ready to start this new podcast series of learning to unlock your full potential and that is going to be scoped through the lens of my curiosity, my wisdom, my expertise as a spiritual life coach and as a human who has well, to be frank, encountered a lot of shit, a lot of fucking shit in my day, 35 years young. But I'm here to tell you my body doesn't feel 35 years young and certainly my mind does not either. I've probably worried enough for at least 90 years worth of aging is what it feels like internally. And so if you're somebody who resonates with having a hard life or wanting more out of life, wanting to find fulfillment, wanting to know and feel what it's like to unlock your full potential and die with no regrets, this is going to be for you. I have held my tongue for far too long and I've not talked about the genius mind that I have, that some of my clients have and some of my soon-to-be and new friends, some of my old friends have. So we're going to be incorporating all of this into the podcast from here on out, and that is all the ways to unlock your full potential.
Speaker 1:So on, just Women Talking Shit. It's going to change up a little bit. It's going to change up a little bit. You're going to see, maybe, a new level of professionalism, a new level of consistency, and that might freak you out a little bit, because I've been hit or miss and I get that, but I've been away, I've been in my cocoon and I'm coming out fully ready to fly like the motherfucking butterfly I am and I just cannot help but share it and spread it and scream it from the tops of the fucking mountains. Humans are meant to evolve, you are meant to evolve, and we're going to evolve our brains, our identities and our entire fucking lives together through this series. So go ahead, subscribe, check us out on Apple Podcasts, leave us a review. It's super fucking important. That way we can get out to the masses. The more reviews we get, the more ratings we get on Spotify, the more the platforms push it out to people who it can also help and it might resonate with and it may actually change their fucking lives. So let's come together and let's spread the word about Just Women Talking Shit. We talk about all the shit the juicy shit, the good shit, the bad shit, life shit.
Speaker 1:Jacqueline Cotton here and I can't wait to dive into today's episode. All right, are you ready? I've got full body chill bumps because I'm headed to my spiritual portal retreat. We have women coming from across the country, all four corners of the country in the United States, and this is what I live for. The in person experiences, all right. But to get to this point, to get to where I actually even host a retreat, to get to the point where I have a co-host of a retreat, to get to the point where people pay thousands of dollars to come hang out with us. It took a lot of work to get here Now.
Speaker 1:If you've been listening from the beginning, then you've heard a little bit of my story, but the story is going to get more real from here on out because I made a promise to go full-on, transparent as ugly as it might be and as much as it might hurt some people's feelings who aren't ready, who know that they are part of my story or maybe even one of my abusers. They might hear it and that's making me uncomfortable but also know that I speak from love and respect and I only heal if I share my story. So you'll hear a lot of firsthand accounts, and especially today, because we're going to be talking about mindset shift and why it is so important to have a positive mindset, its role in achieving personal growth and fulfillment. So together in this episode, it's just going to be you and me today Not to disappoint you. You will have some amazing interviews coming up and you for sure want to subscribe right now and make sure that you also go to our website and join our email list. You will get on the newsletter list and we will email every time there's a new episode, or anytime, there are in-person appearances that you can attend and come watch live in person. So today, why the fuck is a mindset shift so important in unlocking your full potential?
Speaker 1:All right, so if you've been around for a minute then you know that I I endured one hell of a life in my early years. Now it's been brought to my attention recently that I minimize the things I've been through, and so I want to start this out by saying I'm going to be fully transparent and I'll probably trigger myself a little bit and I might get emotional, but that is because it's time to tell my truth in an unfiltered way, because I've always filtered myself as a way to empathize, as a way to regulate, as a way to be accepted, as a way to get validated, as a way to empathize, as a way to regulate, as a way to be accepted, as a way to get validated, as a way to confirm that I was loved, because life was hard okay and all I wanted was to be loved and to be respected enough to be heard and to be held and to be enough. And as a kid, I was left alone a lot. I would go as far to say I was neglected. I can deal with that. What bothered me most was that I had a lot of siblings and so I grew up taking care of these siblings and I minimized it and I undermined myself. And you know, having conversations with parents, I've always been sort of no, not sort of okay, I'm going to be. This is my truth. I feel that I was gaslit my whole life and I'm still gaslit to a certain degree of allowability, meaning that I can only allow a certain bit of gas lighting before I speak or I retract and I have unspoken boundaries. Now I also have spoken boundaries and the boundaries have been spoken before and that's why they're spoken. But when they are unspoken, odds are I've spoken them before and when I retract, it was stated in the original agreement of my boundaries that I don't know an explanation when I need to retract if you are disrespecting me, my feelings and my boundaries. So I'm at a point now to where I can like do that and feel good about it and not feel guilt.
Speaker 1:Growing up, it was really, really hard and up until I would say honestly, fucking. Very recently it's been really hard Accepting that my truth needs to be heard, regardless of who it might cast shadow on. Because here's the thing People that you tell your story to out in like public social media. Those people that find you probably don't even know who the fuck you are, but they resonate with something in your story and they feel drawn to that. So they're drawn to you. Your story they're not drawn to whoever you know might come off in someone's perspective to be the villain. They don't know who your mom is, they don't know who your dad is, they don't know who your relatives are. All they know is that they're interested in hearing a story about you and finding out how you became victorious, because maybe they are struggling too and they need someone to relate to and that's all they really care about. So, and knowing this, it's given me a lot of bravery to start sharing my story.
Speaker 1:But after speaking with my sister recently, I've become even more brave, and so now I want to be honest about the fact that, considering the childhood, considering the adolescent years and considering the trauma and I don't just mean like, I don't throw that word around as if it is just a band-aid and it's a cool thing to say I'm talking about physical nervous system, emotional Nervous system. Emotional, like actual trauma in the body that causes pain to this day, stored in my cells, in my bones. A lot of you have experienced this. And then you combine it with all the gaslighting and maybe you were exposed to narcissism. A lot of us were raised by sociopaths Like this is some crazy shit, but it needs to be talked about.
Speaker 1:And so I, as a young adult, always felt behind. I always fucking felt behind and I never felt like I could get ahead. And I realized I think it took going to friends' houses at a very young age to realize that not everybody had a crazy fucking life like I did, that not everybody was exposed to hardcore drugs, inconsistent parenting, being left alone a lot days in and days out. Learning to cook for yourself at a very young age and take care of your siblings and wake yourself up for school and do your laundry and find a way to get a ride. If you did miss the bus because it was your fault for missing the bus as a kid who sat there on alarm, who took care of babies all night, right. So I always felt like there was something fucking wrong with me, like I did something to deserve such a shitty life. Because it was. It was unspokenly said so through actions. Right, when you're left alone, it feels like you're not important enough to be around and that for some reason, becomes your fault.
Speaker 1:And so I felt that at a very young age, and I felt that up until recently just a few years ago, you know, when I met my husband and so and even then it was really hard to accept that, okay, this person actually actually fucking cares about me, and there is no ulterior motive. There is no, I'm going to one up you or throw this in your face later. There was no spite, no, just no ulterior motive, and I was not used to that. And so my nervous system took a long time to regulate and there are still moments where I'm like what the fuck is going on. But sometimes it takes Accepting that. You know you can't control where you come from, but you can control where you're going. We can't control who our family is, we can't control the life we're born into, the circumstances we're born into, but what we can do is, whenever we become aware that this doesn't resonate with me. This doesn't feel good. I don't want to have a life like this. I don't want to repeat my family's mistakes or whoever it is that raised you a life like this. I don't want to repeat my family's mistakes or whoever it is that raised you. I just want more more for myself, more for my future kids. If I want kids, more for future, me, right, and moving out of my house.
Speaker 1:I moved out at 18 or I think 19, and I went off to college and it was my first experience really living alone. So I had to grow up pretty fast, right, and I fucking loved it. I loved it so much. I loved having to be responsible for myself and only myself. I was well equipped, well prepared and I was a hustler. But the downside of that was in college, because I had to grow up so fast, I definitely rebelled and I struggled with my body image for a very long time, and so I became bulimic. I started drinking a whole lot and the person I became was no longer me, or I'm not really sure I ever knew who I was.
Speaker 1:To begin with, I felt like I'd always been just living for somebody else, trying to be the, the pretty child, the good child, the one that you know got spoken about because there were six of us, six kids, so it was you kind of just get knocked out of the rotation pretty early on if you're the oldest, like I. So I struggled with a lot of insecurity and feeling like I wasn't enough. And whenever I, you know, started living on my own, I started seeing how it was possible to to shift, because I was feeling myself shift in a way that I hadn't felt before. I promised myself I wouldn't repeat my family's mistakes, I wasn't going to do drugs and drink alcohol and you know, like I wasn't going to put myself in that situation. But I did. I did it over and over and over and over again. I was like what the fuck? I told myself I wasn't going to be part of the cycle, that I was different. And that is when I discovered neuroscience.
Speaker 1:I genuinely wanted to become a better person because I felt so broken. I wanted to figure out what was wrong with me, because I was led to believe through other people's actions, through other people's absence, that I wasn't enough. And so that's what I did. That's really the plug-in point of my mindset shift, and for a lot of us it's the same plug-in point Figuring out how can I make my life better, how can I quit feeling so sad, how can I grow, how can I be the person that walks into a room that people gravitate towards. I found myself jealous of happy people, and mad Happy people pissed me off and I couldn't help but wonder why and it was always in the back of my mind Do I want to have the mindset and the energy and the reputation of all the negative people that you know I was raised by? Because it takes a village y'all.
Speaker 1:We can't just single out typically one person. There's typically more than one person. Whenever it comes to like being a fucked up individual, it's usually more than one person because unless it's, unless you were just only exposed to one person, but what I mean is like there's a network or maybe it's a southern. What I mean is like there's a network or maybe it's a southern thing, but it like we had a village of people raising us and so and each one affected all of us children in some type of way attributed to the fucked upness or the good qualities in us as well. Right?
Speaker 1:So in getting curious, in wanting to just figure out, like what the fuck, what the fuck I needed to do to achieve happiness, to get out of this dark hole of self-sabotage, and just repeating my family's curses, how did I like, how can I get out of that? And so I discovered Mel Robbins. Somebody recommended that I read her book and the person at the time I like highly respected her. It was kind of an illusion, I didn't realize at the time, and that's okay. I learned a lot from this person and so she recommended that I and a bunch of people read this book and I'm forever grateful because Mel Robbins to this day deeply affects me and motivates me and I want to be pretty much just like her when I grow up 35.
Speaker 1:But I want to grow up to be like her and I read this fucking book and it just started making sense and her rule after describing neuroscience and neural pathways and how the brain actually has this compartment your subconscious, your ego that is designed to protect you. And now all this is connected through the nervous system and your brain is the central unit of that nervous system. And so when your brain is hardwired, which starts at a very early age I mean we're talking about like as early as the womb if your mother endured a lot of trauma while she was pregnant with you, you could have trauma and energy blocks and so much resistance that you are not even aware of, you're not even conscious of. I found out that the mind is. It rules your behaviors, your habits, and so if your brain and this compartment of your brain is responsible for protecting you, for protecting your nervous system, then it makes total sense why we are so quick to not take risks, not invest in ourselves, not do something that feels new, uncomfortable, scary and unfamiliar.
Speaker 1:Right and understanding that there was actual scientific information to back up why my brain was so fucked up and that it was wired very early on. And that it was wired very early on, early on, without my permission, without my um, without my consent, I had all these borrowed beliefs, all these borrowed behaviors, and that meant that my mindset even was borrowed. That I, if I was able to remove everyone's opinion and everyone's ability to persuade my feelings when I was young, based on shame, based on guilt, that I could start new, that if I wanted to, I could rewire my brain, and that fucking fascinated me, because I love a good challenge. Now it's probably, you know, coming from a large family and like having to fight for food and hide your little Debbie cakes and shit so that you can have them. But I like a good competition and so I'm a bit competitive and I saw it as a competition with my old self.
Speaker 1:Oh man, and then I discovered the works of people like Joe Dispenza. Dr Joe Dispenza man discovered the book what is it? Breaking the Habit of being Yourself? And I was like, oh my fucking God, that's what I've been trying to do this whole time is break the habit of old me so I can shift into new me. And all of a sudden things just started clicking.
Speaker 1:What started as personal development turned into a complete mindset shift. And that is what is required to unlock your full potential. Because here's the thing I coach my clients it's personal development at the fundamental core. But ultimately our focus is energetics and neuroscience that I can show you and that I can guarantee will work if you commit to the journey and if you give me six months, maybe a year some of you hardheads may take a year, but if you genuinely are ready to hit reset on life, hit reset on your brain, hit reset on the identity and evolve, anybody can do it. But it takes this level of commitment and this mindset shift of I don't know what the fuck is going to happen, don't know how it's going to happen, don't know when it's going to happen. But, like I'm committed to changing my life, and that's the mindset shift that you got to have. And whenever I made this commitment to myself that you know what I've been doing up to this point has not been working, I had this realization and I made this commitment to myself that you know what I've been doing up to this point has not been working. I had this realization and I made this commitment to let's just fuck around and find out, let's just see if doing the opposite of what we've been doing actually works.
Speaker 1:I took it as a challenge, I took it as a well, I want to be one of those happy people. There's got to be a reason happy people piss me off. There's got to be a reason I get jealous. That must be evidence of things I desire. Why else would I get upset seeing someone happy and successful and enjoying their lives Right? And so I took it as this challenge to commit to it one day at a time. And that's really the commitment that you need to make within yourself to unlock your full potential Is commitment to yourself, and commitment to yourself looks like just taking it one day at a time and committing to that future version of you who is happy, who has sorted out all the baggage, all the shit, shifted the energy, overcome the obstacles, worked through the crap, through the cobwebs energetic cobwebs who has become a safe landing spot for the best relationships, the best connections, the best clients, a life that feels so good and so natural that it almost gets scary that it's so good that your nervous system goes what if?
Speaker 1:What if I lose it? Because your life gets that good, life can be that good, life can be that good. And even when you are in a challenge or you feel like an era of your life is a growth period, a struggle, even those periods of time can be good, because when you make the commitment to a mindset shift, it's honestly, um, you just rewire your brain to see every opportunity is growth and that's something that is a life skill set that you can't put a price tag on, because you know that you're equipped with the tools. Because when you have this commitment to the mindset shift, you just take it one day at a time and you give yourself grace. I've noticed as well and I think that's really important in mentioning because at first it's really hard to get your mind to cooperate with this new energy and with this new identity that you really want to become, because old you really want to become, because old you is going to try to talk you out of it and your ego and your mind is going to go.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is uncomfortable. This feels unsafe. We haven't done this before. I'm freaking out. Let's go back to bed. Let's just sleep a little bit longer. We can start tomorrow Because our brains are equipped to protect us, to protect our organs, to protect our nervous system.
Speaker 1:Don't touch the fire. It's hot. Don't do that. We could fail and that feels scary. And so commitit to shifting your mindset and just taking it day by day. And when you do that, I swear, I swear give it a week, commit to one week. First, start with the day, but have in the back of your mind okay, I'm going to take it day by day, let's just see if we can make it to a week and then, if you're able to do that, commit to another few days or a week. It really doesn't have to be this whole future strategy and have this heaviness to it. It can be fun. And if you want manifesting your dream life and learning to unlock your full potential to be fun and you want to use your feelings as feedback.
Speaker 1:I actually have a totally free guide. It's called Feelings Equal Feedback. You're going to hear the road. It sounds like they've been doing some work and haven't finished it yet. Hopefully you can still hear me, but I have this free guide and it is a PDF. All you got to do is check the show notes or if you're listening to this somewhere else, it's a snippet or something like that Just comment frequencies and we will send over the feelings equal frequencies guide to becoming an energetic match for your dream life or your dream business, which is going to help you manifest 10 times faster based on energetics.
Speaker 1:And it's so much freaking fun. I go in there and I break down what energetics is and how it's honestly been contributing to your life this whole time, and how becoming aware of your energy and then being able to manipulate it actually creates different realities for you, and so it will all of a sudden make sense why your current life is the way it is based on your energetic states, based on your habits, based on your behaviors, based on activities that you have been engaging in or not engaging in. So I break it down, and I break it down so that you understand how to use your feelings as feedback to raise your frequency, because your frequency is what calls in the things and the people and the situations into your life. Based on your frequency is what you call in. So when you learn about the laws of the universe, you will become aware that we get what we are an energetic match for. And so depending on the frequency really affects your reality and it reflects your reality.
Speaker 1:So if you feel like you're down a lot and you're sad a lot and you don't socialize a lot, it probably makes sense that you don't get invited to parties and you're not a very popular person. Or you know you feel depressed a lot because you tend to put yourself in an environment where it keeps you depressed and you don't challenge yourself and you don't allow yourself to see what it's like to be happy and make friends. So and then it goes. You know it's a complete polar opposite. If you are a ray of sunshine and you make a genuine effort to continually personally develop, then you probably are a person who, when they walk into the room, they get attention because your objective is to spread sunshine and all the good things and you want people to feel good about you because of the intention behind it, and people notice that. People feel that that is energy, and so this guide is fucking genius genius, if I do say myself. It is well worth $89, probably more, but that's the number that came to mind when I came up with it, and so I want you to download it If that feels like something that you're being pulled to do. You will have so much fucking fun. I promise you you will. And whenever you download it and you find yourself raising your frequency and feeling super happy and aligned, I want you to just document that moment, not only for yourself, but I would love for you to share it in your stories and tag at spiritual support system and at just women talking shit on instagram, and we would love to share your good vibes, because that's what it's all about creating good vibes so we can attract more good vibes, find our people and live our most authentic, aligned, genuine and happy and fulfilled life. All right, y'all, I love you.
Speaker 1:This was episode 80. 81 is coming up next, and if you want to hear it and you are not on our email list yet, go to justwomentalkingshitcom. Register to become a newsletter subscriber and we will send it directly to your inbox. But until then, don't forget to leave reviews. Go and rate us on Spotify. Apple Podcasts is super important for the reviews and the ratings. All right, I love y'all so much. It's so good to be back. I'm headed to the mountains, I'm going to pick up my best friend and my client and I can't fucking wait and I feel like this is a good time to plug the next retreat. If you want to meet us next year, check out the show notes for the 2025 Spiritual Portal waitlist. Yeah, yeah.
